The last post is not the way I want to leave this blog. Let me update you on my progress and bring some positive thoughts. Tomorrow will be three weeks post chemoembolization and I am finally feeling half myself. The pain is controllable and everyday seems to be getting better. In two weeks we will get another CT Scan to see if those creepy liver tumors are being strangled. Depending on those results we take our next step of action. Which would be PRRT treatment in Houston.
Now the medical side is summed up pretty quickly. I know that many who read my blog want more about my medical and physical treatments. However, I just have the hardest time giving my energy in writing about it. I do want to tell you that over the last three weeks I once again have found that I am so blessed with so many people helping us out. Several times I am asked "how I do what I do?" and I have to tell you that I cannot get through these treatments without all the help I received. My family basically taken over my three boys crazy schedule, dinners sent to my home so that my men were fed, rides for the boys to all their activities so that Mark could be with me, cards sent just when I needed them and mostly the enormous amounts of prays being said especially on April 1st and 2nd. I wonder often how I can be so blessed to have so many people care about me and my boys. Just knowing that Mark can send out one message and have hundreds spreading the word to pray for me is better then any medicine. It may sound cheesy but I often wonder why I am so lucky to have so much love? At one point going through this torturous treatment I said to Mark, "our boys will be okay no matter what happens to me". He looked and shook his head yes with such conviction. Because I know that the I planted the seeds with them and that they have a amazing family and huge support system in our community. Knowing that helps me focus on just beating the hell out of this cancer.
I also wanted to let everyone know that on May 7th at Nesbits Bowling Alley in Plum a group of friends are holding a bowl-a-thon. This is exactly what I am talking about when I say love. The details are above and they are asking that you please register soon. I am so humbled by their efforts to keep me fighting. I truly hope you can all participate.
Sunny
SUNNY CARNEY After a courageous 10 year fight battling Carcinoid Cancer, Sunny Carney, of Plum, passed peacefully on Saturday, November 3. She was married to her devoted husband, Mark; and was a loving mother to Austen, Logan and Nolan; daughter of Patricia Jennings and the late James J. Jennings; daughter-in-law of Dale and Dottie Carney; sister of Judy Phillips (Ray Jr.), Lynn Pesta (Teddy), Michael Jennings (Vicki Lynn), James Jennings (Sue), Joseph Jennings (Elizabeth), Sheila Fortes (Jim); sister-in-law of Craig Carney (Julia). She is also survived by numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews, and was a true friend and inspiration to many.
In addition to being an inspiration to family and friends Sunny inspired carcinoid cancer patients across the globe through her blog, and then her book "The Sunny Side of Cancer. She spoke at numerous cancer events locally sharing stories of her journey which led her from Basel, Switzerland to all of the top Carcinoid Cancer specialists here in the states. She was an advocate for better diagnosis of the disease and for insurance coverage of treatments. She fought with grace and dignity, never letting the pain inside challenge her faith or diminish her love for life.
Memorials may be made to "Carney Family Fund", c/o S&T Bank, 2190 Hulton Road, Verona, PA 15147.
Friends received Monday 7-9 p.m. and Tuesday 3-8 p.m. at Unity Community Church, 215 Unity Center Road, Plum, PA 15239.
Funeral Services will be held on Wednesday at 11 a.m. in Unity Community Church with Rev. Frank Deluce officiating. Arrangements entrusted to CHARLES W. TRENZ FUNERAL HOME, INC.
VIEW GUEST BOOK Published in Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Back Home
Well Sunny is home and recovering from the latest Chemo-Immobilization treatment on the 1st. She came home on Sunday and a couple of days have came and went and the pain and nausea that accompanies the procedure continues to come and go as well. That first night at the hospital was a long hard one, and even though she is far from comfortable now, I know she would agree that the past couple of days have for the most part been a heck of a lot better than Friday night after the treatment. I won't go into a lot of details because honestly having been by her side that night into Saturday morning it is a memory that is seared into my mind and not in a good way. The pain orders were screwed up and she literally was in scream inducing pain for over fifteen hours straight. It was hard enough on me to watch , listen, feel helpless, I can't even imagine how it beat her up. I have since shared that I have never witnessed a water boarding session...but it was like being two feet away from a loved one, your partner, watching the CIA do their thing and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it. It was truly a sad and painful reflection on UPMC and the first time that her care their hasn't been top notch. They failed her that first night by not communicating.
It actually reached the brief moment that both of us in the midst of praying asked God if couldn't help the pain then maybe it was better if he just took her. I know that seems impossible to believe knowing how hard she fights, but this was absolutely the worst night of the entire "Cancer" journey yet. Thank God that he had other ideas and in the morning when the Liver Dr came in, she began to rectify the situation and as it turned out, was a fellow believer in the hands that are bigger than any doctors could ever be. We remember a nurses aide, Indian I think, coming in around four in the morning, just because she felt so bad for Sunny listening to her cry from down the hall, that she wanted to offer anything to help comfort, pop, ice, and then prayer. It was touching and I think somehow showed both of us to keep the faith, that He hadn't finished with Sunny just yet. Then Sunday morning an intern from Sunny's liver doctors practice came in to check on her. She was amazed at Sunny's turn around because she was the same intern on Saturday morning when the pain was at it's worse. Not knowing by then who helped her get things under control I think she was the one that finally order the pain pump that was to be order in the begin. The subject of faith came up and she asked Sunny what church she went too. She then said that seeing Sunny sitting on the edge of the bed praying confirmed her faith. There is more to that story but I will save that for Sunny.
So much for not going into detail. Now as I write this blog for her Tuesday evening, she has been sitting with the kids and her mother, has played a board game or two with Logan, has helped with studying, has watched Dancing With the Stars, and all in all the positive "sunny " attitude is back even if her body isn't completely just yet. She is sick to her stomach and has not been able to eat much. She has the usual side effects of the shakes, nausua, stomach issues and PAIN. But she is Sunny. She's exhausted but she still has her fight.
I want to say thanks on her behalf and the rest of our family for all of the dinners, the soup, the cards which arrive daily, the offers to help with the kids and their activities, and of course all of the prayers. Looking back on the past couple of days, there was a moment of desperation that has been followed by a reassuring sense that He most definitely is still in charge of all this. And that enables her to keep on fighting to first recover from the treatment, and focus on beating the disease.
So keep us (especially her) in your thoughts and prayers and remember that even in your lowest moment , when you don't think or feel you can go on, that its not really your call. So refocus on Him , your family, your life, and all of things that are important, and stay positive and enjoy every chance you have to make a difference.
Mark
It actually reached the brief moment that both of us in the midst of praying asked God if couldn't help the pain then maybe it was better if he just took her. I know that seems impossible to believe knowing how hard she fights, but this was absolutely the worst night of the entire "Cancer" journey yet. Thank God that he had other ideas and in the morning when the Liver Dr came in, she began to rectify the situation and as it turned out, was a fellow believer in the hands that are bigger than any doctors could ever be. We remember a nurses aide, Indian I think, coming in around four in the morning, just because she felt so bad for Sunny listening to her cry from down the hall, that she wanted to offer anything to help comfort, pop, ice, and then prayer. It was touching and I think somehow showed both of us to keep the faith, that He hadn't finished with Sunny just yet. Then Sunday morning an intern from Sunny's liver doctors practice came in to check on her. She was amazed at Sunny's turn around because she was the same intern on Saturday morning when the pain was at it's worse. Not knowing by then who helped her get things under control I think she was the one that finally order the pain pump that was to be order in the begin. The subject of faith came up and she asked Sunny what church she went too. She then said that seeing Sunny sitting on the edge of the bed praying confirmed her faith. There is more to that story but I will save that for Sunny.
So much for not going into detail. Now as I write this blog for her Tuesday evening, she has been sitting with the kids and her mother, has played a board game or two with Logan, has helped with studying, has watched Dancing With the Stars, and all in all the positive "sunny " attitude is back even if her body isn't completely just yet. She is sick to her stomach and has not been able to eat much. She has the usual side effects of the shakes, nausua, stomach issues and PAIN. But she is Sunny. She's exhausted but she still has her fight.
I want to say thanks on her behalf and the rest of our family for all of the dinners, the soup, the cards which arrive daily, the offers to help with the kids and their activities, and of course all of the prayers. Looking back on the past couple of days, there was a moment of desperation that has been followed by a reassuring sense that He most definitely is still in charge of all this. And that enables her to keep on fighting to first recover from the treatment, and focus on beating the disease.
So keep us (especially her) in your thoughts and prayers and remember that even in your lowest moment , when you don't think or feel you can go on, that its not really your call. So refocus on Him , your family, your life, and all of things that are important, and stay positive and enjoy every chance you have to make a difference.
Mark
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Update
As many of you know I had a new CT scan done almost two weeks ago. It was a routine CT scan which I always get before I go to see my liver oncologist. On Tuesday of last week Mark and I went to my liver oncology appointment feeling quite confident that all was still stable (not gone but no growth) in the liver being that I had a PET Scan just four weeks early. To our surprise, even complete shock, that was not the case. The CT scan showed several new tumors, growth in the old tumors and an increase in blood flow to several others. It had also showed some new lesions in the bones. With all the new findings we have sped up our game plan. On April 1st I will be heading to UPMC Presby for another chemo-embolization to the liver. This is a quite painful and intense treatment however, it has had great results in the past. I have often joked with Mark and my docs that this is a great way to torture terrorists. I will get ill and lose some of my hair but I have gotten through four of them in the past. Then depending on the results of that treatment I will be on my way to Houston, TX for an experimental treatment. I have been trying to hold off in starting this treatment because of cost but it seems like the time to go is now.
I waited a week before posting this news because I wanted to wrap my head around the results. Also, with so much support by my side sometimes I HATE posting disappointing news. Just speaking about it to me gives this cancer why to much time. I don't mind being asked how I am doing or what's going on, but when it's not so good news I just don't want to linger about it. I had to lay out a "game plan" before letting the news out. That way all the questions will be answered. Once I know the plan of attack then I can get on with it and start punching. Its the way I like to do things....compartmentalize and move on.
I want you to know that I am fine with the results. I will do what I need to do and have faith that each treatment leads me to a cure. Again I put my trust in "The Man Above" and know that I can get through it all. Please keep me in your prayers but mostly keep "my men" in your prays. Let them use this journey as an example of strength, faith, and hope.
Sunny
I waited a week before posting this news because I wanted to wrap my head around the results. Also, with so much support by my side sometimes I HATE posting disappointing news. Just speaking about it to me gives this cancer why to much time. I don't mind being asked how I am doing or what's going on, but when it's not so good news I just don't want to linger about it. I had to lay out a "game plan" before letting the news out. That way all the questions will be answered. Once I know the plan of attack then I can get on with it and start punching. Its the way I like to do things....compartmentalize and move on.
I want you to know that I am fine with the results. I will do what I need to do and have faith that each treatment leads me to a cure. Again I put my trust in "The Man Above" and know that I can get through it all. Please keep me in your prayers but mostly keep "my men" in your prays. Let them use this journey as an example of strength, faith, and hope.
Sunny
Monday, March 14, 2011
Perseverance
Fall seven times, stand up eight......perseverance. Awhile back a friend of mine asked me if I could speak to her church, Orchard Hill, about my journey. The conversation led into the true meaning of perseverance. On Tuesday, March 15th a rebroadcast of the sermon that went with my conversation will on be Word FM at 3:00 PM (see above for a link). The last couple of weeks the word perseverance has been the subject to many topics and situations I have encountered. In my last post I touched on my desire to not be satisfied just living with carcinoid cancer until the disease "gets me". I am putting all my hope, prays and efforts into being cured. I refuse to listen to the medical facts that carcinoid cancer is incurable and a death sentence. Since my diagnosis there has been several new treatments that have been tested of carcinoid cancer. Not to mention the increase of diagnosis have nearly tripled in the past three years.
Several of my doctors continue to assure me that for the advancement of my cancer I am doing quite well. Although I appreciate their attempts to keep me positive, I understand that their concept of "doing well....considering" is NOT the same as my hope. They are masters of the medical facts, statics and science, but I know they are not masters of my faith. When they say that, in my mind they are actually saying, "I can't believe you are still here". It really makes me want to be a witness to them so that they can add faith to their knowledge. Not so much as, "look at me I'm still here. I'm still working, I'm still walking. I'm still a mom", but more of I still have belief that YOU the doctors will cure me through my faith.
A few weeks ago a friend sent me a book titled, "10 Hours to Live". When I open the package and read the title I was very intrigue. Of course Mark told me not to leave that book laying around in case the boys pick it up, he not realizing that between the covers was not about how to die but how to live. I read the back cover first, like I do with every book, and realized that the author of the book was the one that had been told he had 10 hours to live. So of course I had to read more because after all it takes more then 10 hours to write and publish a book let alone have it mailed to me. I must say I could not put it down and completely finished the entire book in three hours. Since then I have been rereading it and studying the whole concept. That concept of believing you can be healed through Scripture. This book has furthered my knowledge of how to fight this monster with faith. I have learned what it really means to believe in the true power of God's healing.
Through pray and faith my perseverance has grown even more since I spoke with Orchard Hill Church. The past two weeks my strength has truly been tested. Through Scripture and pray I have battled through it. It seems like when I conquer one part of this cancer or the treatments that comes with it another pops up. In speaking with several cancer patients that seems to be the trend with the journey of fighting the beast. Lately, when I open my eyes in the morning I just lay there for a few minutes to see what is next to conquer. A few days of bone pain leads to nausea. Then I get over that only to awaken to a mouth full of ulcers from the chemo. I can continue but I don't want to give the negative any credit. It's almost as if you don't know what affliction will be next. Thursday I went for a CT scan and the nurse that was administrating the IV made a comment, after reading the novel called my records, that cancer is always an uphill battle. Out of no were I answered back, "I'd rather be going uphill then downhill". She laughed and promised me she would tell that to her next patient. My point being is that when you have hope and faith you see things so differently. You know that while you are climbing the mountain or even falling downhill a bit, you are not alone.
Please listen to the great message about perseverance tomorrow at 3:00 PM on Word FM (see link above) in Pittsburgh that is station 101.5.
Sunny
Several of my doctors continue to assure me that for the advancement of my cancer I am doing quite well. Although I appreciate their attempts to keep me positive, I understand that their concept of "doing well....considering" is NOT the same as my hope. They are masters of the medical facts, statics and science, but I know they are not masters of my faith. When they say that, in my mind they are actually saying, "I can't believe you are still here". It really makes me want to be a witness to them so that they can add faith to their knowledge. Not so much as, "look at me I'm still here. I'm still working, I'm still walking. I'm still a mom", but more of I still have belief that YOU the doctors will cure me through my faith.
A few weeks ago a friend sent me a book titled, "10 Hours to Live". When I open the package and read the title I was very intrigue. Of course Mark told me not to leave that book laying around in case the boys pick it up, he not realizing that between the covers was not about how to die but how to live. I read the back cover first, like I do with every book, and realized that the author of the book was the one that had been told he had 10 hours to live. So of course I had to read more because after all it takes more then 10 hours to write and publish a book let alone have it mailed to me. I must say I could not put it down and completely finished the entire book in three hours. Since then I have been rereading it and studying the whole concept. That concept of believing you can be healed through Scripture. This book has furthered my knowledge of how to fight this monster with faith. I have learned what it really means to believe in the true power of God's healing.
Through pray and faith my perseverance has grown even more since I spoke with Orchard Hill Church. The past two weeks my strength has truly been tested. Through Scripture and pray I have battled through it. It seems like when I conquer one part of this cancer or the treatments that comes with it another pops up. In speaking with several cancer patients that seems to be the trend with the journey of fighting the beast. Lately, when I open my eyes in the morning I just lay there for a few minutes to see what is next to conquer. A few days of bone pain leads to nausea. Then I get over that only to awaken to a mouth full of ulcers from the chemo. I can continue but I don't want to give the negative any credit. It's almost as if you don't know what affliction will be next. Thursday I went for a CT scan and the nurse that was administrating the IV made a comment, after reading the novel called my records, that cancer is always an uphill battle. Out of no were I answered back, "I'd rather be going uphill then downhill". She laughed and promised me she would tell that to her next patient. My point being is that when you have hope and faith you see things so differently. You know that while you are climbing the mountain or even falling downhill a bit, you are not alone.
Please listen to the great message about perseverance tomorrow at 3:00 PM on Word FM (see link above) in Pittsburgh that is station 101.5.
Sunny
Monday, February 21, 2011
Its been awhile
I know that it has been a long time since my last post, and I am sorry for not updating sooner. Two weeks ago I got my new PET scan results and I was not sure how to share them without disappointing those who have been by my side. The scan showed some new tumors and some growth in the old ones on the bones. A few new tumors appeared in my back and chest area. However, it showed that the liver is stable. Which means there are no new tumors and the tumors that are in the liver have not grown.
My doctors, Mark and I felt that these results were pretty good despite the new tumors and the growth on the bones, but when I started to share the news with my loved ones they seemed worried and anxious. So I've been reluctant on spreading the news any further without first explaining why we were happy with the results. We have been told over and over again that there is no cure for my cancer. When it hits the liver and bones then the growth speeds up and the prognosis is not good. We were told 2 1/2 years ago that six good months is what we should expect. Again and again we were told that there was nothing left in the US that could save me. When I say we, I mean Mark, my general oncologist and me. Since then I have been on several chemo/cancer drugs, I have gone to every specialist in the US that we could find, I have had 4 chemo embolizations, I have had experimental treatments in Switzerland, and I am hoping to be able to receive newer treatments in Houston TX soon. So a small amount of growth, a few new tumors and stability in the liver is exciting to us. It keeps me hanging on until the next thing comes along.
With my journey being so public I sometimes feel like I don't want to let those who are my supporters down. I don't want to be the one that is being worried about. I want to show strength and faith through my fight. I want to be an example to my children that all things are possible. I want to inspire them to not give up and know that when they come across their biggest hurdle they see how strong their faith can be. At times it can be impossible for others to see things like Mark and I see this battle because we are actually going through it on a day to day basis. After we got the results I felt like I was on cloud nine. In talking with Mark after we left the doc's office I slipped up and said something to him about this giving me a few more months maybe a year. I was happy with that....actually thrilled. He seemed shocked when I said that and looked even sad. After a few days he asked me why I am okay with a year and wondering if I gave up on being cured. I realized that I did. I was looking at this war as small battles to win instead of complete victory over the cancer.
So in the last few weeks instead of posting, I was finding my FULL faith again. I needed to start believing again that one day a cure will happen. I decided that everyday my pray would be for God to take the cancer out of my body instead of my old prayers of: get me through this treatment, take away my pain today, help me out of bed or help me to get to the next treatment I need. I began believing like I use to that "All is possible, if we just ask". With this renewal I went back to my Bible and started studying scriptures that will help me see the powers of faith. Then recently I have had others reach out me asking for pray for something they were going through. I have seen others win battles with cancer and began to hear remission stories. Opportunities to help people close to me started coming my way and the scriptures I found I used to help them. It was like a small snowball that kept rolling and growing as it rolled.
Last night I got a FB messaged from one of my FB friends that said: never give up- keep researching and researching, finding doctors who will work with you and most of all PRAY; visualize all the cancer leaving your body, close you eyes and visualize it leaving and believe it. So this morning that is exactly what I did and I will do that everyday. I will not settle for a good day anymore. My hope and faith will let me believe that despite what all the gurus of Carcinoid Cancer says I can go in remission. After all, I have the best of the best Doctor on my side.
Sunny
I want to share the first scripture that I studied: "And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces PERSEVERANCE; perseverance produces CHARACTER; and character produces HOPE. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Roman 5 3-5
My doctors, Mark and I felt that these results were pretty good despite the new tumors and the growth on the bones, but when I started to share the news with my loved ones they seemed worried and anxious. So I've been reluctant on spreading the news any further without first explaining why we were happy with the results. We have been told over and over again that there is no cure for my cancer. When it hits the liver and bones then the growth speeds up and the prognosis is not good. We were told 2 1/2 years ago that six good months is what we should expect. Again and again we were told that there was nothing left in the US that could save me. When I say we, I mean Mark, my general oncologist and me. Since then I have been on several chemo/cancer drugs, I have gone to every specialist in the US that we could find, I have had 4 chemo embolizations, I have had experimental treatments in Switzerland, and I am hoping to be able to receive newer treatments in Houston TX soon. So a small amount of growth, a few new tumors and stability in the liver is exciting to us. It keeps me hanging on until the next thing comes along.
With my journey being so public I sometimes feel like I don't want to let those who are my supporters down. I don't want to be the one that is being worried about. I want to show strength and faith through my fight. I want to be an example to my children that all things are possible. I want to inspire them to not give up and know that when they come across their biggest hurdle they see how strong their faith can be. At times it can be impossible for others to see things like Mark and I see this battle because we are actually going through it on a day to day basis. After we got the results I felt like I was on cloud nine. In talking with Mark after we left the doc's office I slipped up and said something to him about this giving me a few more months maybe a year. I was happy with that....actually thrilled. He seemed shocked when I said that and looked even sad. After a few days he asked me why I am okay with a year and wondering if I gave up on being cured. I realized that I did. I was looking at this war as small battles to win instead of complete victory over the cancer.
So in the last few weeks instead of posting, I was finding my FULL faith again. I needed to start believing again that one day a cure will happen. I decided that everyday my pray would be for God to take the cancer out of my body instead of my old prayers of: get me through this treatment, take away my pain today, help me out of bed or help me to get to the next treatment I need. I began believing like I use to that "All is possible, if we just ask". With this renewal I went back to my Bible and started studying scriptures that will help me see the powers of faith. Then recently I have had others reach out me asking for pray for something they were going through. I have seen others win battles with cancer and began to hear remission stories. Opportunities to help people close to me started coming my way and the scriptures I found I used to help them. It was like a small snowball that kept rolling and growing as it rolled.
Last night I got a FB messaged from one of my FB friends that said: never give up- keep researching and researching, finding doctors who will work with you and most of all PRAY; visualize all the cancer leaving your body, close you eyes and visualize it leaving and believe it. So this morning that is exactly what I did and I will do that everyday. I will not settle for a good day anymore. My hope and faith will let me believe that despite what all the gurus of Carcinoid Cancer says I can go in remission. After all, I have the best of the best Doctor on my side.
Sunny
I want to share the first scripture that I studied: "And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces PERSEVERANCE; perseverance produces CHARACTER; and character produces HOPE. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Roman 5 3-5
Saturday, February 5, 2011
A note
I had the kindest message sent to me the other day from a High School Senior in our community. I've known her since she was in grade school when I was involved very heavily with my children's school PTA. Her family are friends of mine and have been wonderful cheerleaders for me in my battle. I got a burst of energy to keep going when she sent me this message. To her it was probably nothing but to me it meant that my fight to stay alive has shown others to NEVER GIVE UP.
Her note went as follows:
Sunny
Her note went as follows:
Thank you Chelsea for the reminder that others are watching. I really needed that boost the other day.
Sunny
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Enjoy your journey!!!
So many times we are in such a hurry to reach the goal we set for ourselves. For some it may be to run a marathon with great time, building a business, loosing weight, or for me finding a treatment that works. We climb the mountain and keep our eye on top the whole way up. We are told that we should not look at the past or think about the obstacles that tried to get in our way as we reach the top of the mountain. Just keep climbing and keep our eye on the prize we hear every step we take. Write down you goals and look at them everyday. I remember hearing my father say over and over again, "know what you want and then figure out how to get it". Besides telling the boys everyday before leaving the house, "make good choices" I also yell out to them, "do you best and then do one more". They mock it and laugh but I know that hear it. However, sometimes I think we need to turn around and see how far we have climbed. See what we got through and how strong we are because of it.
We also need to enjoy the journey on the way up. Love the people who inspired us and thank those who never gave up on us. We need to thank God for the strength to get us thus far. A good pat on the back or a "that boy or girl" cheer will keep us encouraged. This refreshes you and gives you that extra boost to finish the climb. Don't wait until you get to the top to see what you overcome. Enjoy the obstacles as you jump over them. I am not saying to keep looking back in a negative mind set. After all, you can not climb uphill with downhill thoughts. But every once in awhile we need to rejoice in our small accomplishments. Mostly we must remember who is carrying us through the real tough times.
Thank you my friend for reminding me this yesterday.
Enjoy your journey,
Sunny
We also need to enjoy the journey on the way up. Love the people who inspired us and thank those who never gave up on us. We need to thank God for the strength to get us thus far. A good pat on the back or a "that boy or girl" cheer will keep us encouraged. This refreshes you and gives you that extra boost to finish the climb. Don't wait until you get to the top to see what you overcome. Enjoy the obstacles as you jump over them. I am not saying to keep looking back in a negative mind set. After all, you can not climb uphill with downhill thoughts. But every once in awhile we need to rejoice in our small accomplishments. Mostly we must remember who is carrying us through the real tough times.
Thank you my friend for reminding me this yesterday.
Enjoy your journey,
Sunny
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple
I have been reading several articles and blog posts about the diagnosis of Steve Jobs with neuroendrocine cancer, or carcinoid cancer. Out of those articles the one I found most informative is listed to the right of the page. My heart goes out to anyone who has this diagnosis. I have learned that with all the money and notoriety in the world cancer can strike. That is why I truly believe money, popularity, fame, good fortune and brains are great but in our lowest time we need one thing....FAITH. That my friends is FREE.
Sunny
Sunny
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sweet Child of Mine!!!
There are three days in a year that mean more to me and my journey then any other. They are the days that I fight to be here for and never want to miss. They are prizes that my eye stays on when things seem so hard. These dates are written in Sharpie Marker in the inside of my Bible that I open whenever I think I can't stand one more treatment or one more ounce of pain. September 19th, December 15th, and January 14th are the reasons why I do whatever I need to do, no matter what crazy treatment it is, to stay alive. They are my sons' Birthdays and each year it is a milestone to my journey. This year I turned 40 and although Mark made a big deal about it to me it meant nothing. But being here for my boys' birthday means everything to me. Every year I say, "if I can make it one more they will be old enough to handle things on there own." Then days like today come and I think one more is not enough.
Today is my sweet, happy-go-lucky, youngest son Nolan's Birthday. Nolan is our "Sweet Child". He is the surprise that ended up being the gift God knew we need. He brings balance to this high energy, type A personality and intense home. I know I have posted before about this one but he is so easy to write about because he brings such joy to our family. He manages to calm a whole family down when things get a little stressful with his quick wit and adorable grin. His kindness and ability to walk away from a difficult situation making a difference is what really stands out. His love for music is infectious to the whole house. He started playing guitar at age 8, only because he beg us for a year for lessons, which encourage his other brothers to take up drums and bass. Although Austen, being the oldest, thinks he runs the jamm sessions, Nolan has this unique way of being the leader without the leader personalities knowing.
There is nothing better then seeing your child's face on the morning of their Birthday. This morning was no exception. His brothers were already out the door on their way to school when he came bopping down our stairs sing, "Sweet Child of Mine", by Guns and Roses, his newest guitar song. Every year since the boys started school I've made it a tradition to take them to breakfast before school on their special day. Well as stated in yesterdays post I have been struggling with some horrible bone pain which is unbearable at night and in the mornings. So this morning I was hoping Nolan forgot or being 12 now may think he is too old. I had about two to three hours of on again and off again sleep and spent the last hour sick to my stomach. Honestly today I was in no shape to be taking anyone anywhere. But once I saw his excitement I could not say NO. So I put a baseball cap on, traded my slippers for boots, and put on my long wool coat on so no one would notice I still had my PJ's on. Yes my Plum Mums I wore my PJ's to the Oakmont bakery.
I dropped him off at school, 45 minutes early I have to add because he had a student government meeting, with 4 dozen donuts for his class. I sat for a minute in the parking lot watching him talk to every person as he walked to the door with his hands full of treats. I jumped out the car to run and grab the door for him. As I open the door he smiles at me and says, "Mom you look great! You walked from the car and did not limp once. You're getting better. Thanks for breakfast." Once again he left me speechless. He left me with strength and hope. I did not look great. In fact I did not want to get out of the car for fear of seeing another mom I knew dress to the nines and me looking like I had cancer. But when I saw him struggle to open the door I did not think twice about the way I looked, the pain I was in or the funny limp I have from the surgery. I just wanted to help. However I did not realizes that God gave me Nolan to help me.
God knew that we needed him to give our family strength. He knew that when he put four overachieving, high energy people in one family he needed to add an ounce of joy that will make a difference in our house everyday. He knew that when Logan and Austen are fighting over who knows more in Science or which one got high score on some stupid video game we needed Nolan to calm the storm. He knew that when I was to get sick I needed someone to slip notes under my door or come in with warmed up heating pads for my back. He knew that when tears are falling because of fear and pain we needed someone to wipe them away with a funny comment or just a smile. So on his birthday he may be open presents but the real present was giving to me on January 14, 1999. He is one of my three lifesavers.
Sunny
P.S.
I am looking for some information. Please read yesterdays post as well.
Today is my sweet, happy-go-lucky, youngest son Nolan's Birthday. Nolan is our "Sweet Child". He is the surprise that ended up being the gift God knew we need. He brings balance to this high energy, type A personality and intense home. I know I have posted before about this one but he is so easy to write about because he brings such joy to our family. He manages to calm a whole family down when things get a little stressful with his quick wit and adorable grin. His kindness and ability to walk away from a difficult situation making a difference is what really stands out. His love for music is infectious to the whole house. He started playing guitar at age 8, only because he beg us for a year for lessons, which encourage his other brothers to take up drums and bass. Although Austen, being the oldest, thinks he runs the jamm sessions, Nolan has this unique way of being the leader without the leader personalities knowing.
There is nothing better then seeing your child's face on the morning of their Birthday. This morning was no exception. His brothers were already out the door on their way to school when he came bopping down our stairs sing, "Sweet Child of Mine", by Guns and Roses, his newest guitar song. Every year since the boys started school I've made it a tradition to take them to breakfast before school on their special day. Well as stated in yesterdays post I have been struggling with some horrible bone pain which is unbearable at night and in the mornings. So this morning I was hoping Nolan forgot or being 12 now may think he is too old. I had about two to three hours of on again and off again sleep and spent the last hour sick to my stomach. Honestly today I was in no shape to be taking anyone anywhere. But once I saw his excitement I could not say NO. So I put a baseball cap on, traded my slippers for boots, and put on my long wool coat on so no one would notice I still had my PJ's on. Yes my Plum Mums I wore my PJ's to the Oakmont bakery.
I dropped him off at school, 45 minutes early I have to add because he had a student government meeting, with 4 dozen donuts for his class. I sat for a minute in the parking lot watching him talk to every person as he walked to the door with his hands full of treats. I jumped out the car to run and grab the door for him. As I open the door he smiles at me and says, "Mom you look great! You walked from the car and did not limp once. You're getting better. Thanks for breakfast." Once again he left me speechless. He left me with strength and hope. I did not look great. In fact I did not want to get out of the car for fear of seeing another mom I knew dress to the nines and me looking like I had cancer. But when I saw him struggle to open the door I did not think twice about the way I looked, the pain I was in or the funny limp I have from the surgery. I just wanted to help. However I did not realizes that God gave me Nolan to help me.
God knew that we needed him to give our family strength. He knew that when he put four overachieving, high energy people in one family he needed to add an ounce of joy that will make a difference in our house everyday. He knew that when Logan and Austen are fighting over who knows more in Science or which one got high score on some stupid video game we needed Nolan to calm the storm. He knew that when I was to get sick I needed someone to slip notes under my door or come in with warmed up heating pads for my back. He knew that when tears are falling because of fear and pain we needed someone to wipe them away with a funny comment or just a smile. So on his birthday he may be open presents but the real present was giving to me on January 14, 1999. He is one of my three lifesavers.
Sunny
P.S.
I am looking for some information. Please read yesterdays post as well.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Decisions
Hello everyone!!!! All is going okay here in this snow storm. My femur and hip is recovering great. I am walking without crutches most of the time. However the rest of me is falling apart. My bone mets are flaring up and the pain in my spine, chest, shoulders and arms are becoming unbearable. The pain is terrible but the inability to hug my four boys is really driving me crazy. Just a few minutes ago my fourteen year old was leaving for school and he gave me a gentle hug (as we call them since the tumors spread to the bones) I thought I was going to crumble. It seems like when I get rid of one thing another pops up. I don't know if its just that I notice things more because the more intense pain is gone? I am thinking though maybe its when you take out one carcinoid tumor it stimulates the others? I think I read that somewhere. If anyone can enlighten me on that please email me below.
I need to reach out to my carcinoid posse or anyone else that has the knowledge of treatments. We are at a crossroads with my treatments or decisions of treatments. The bright side, there is always a bright side, there are some options. I am just not sure which road is best for me. So I would like to use today's blog to post some questions to my carcinoid cancer patients and doctors who read my blog. Please email below if you have any answers.
1. Has anyone tried the Induim 111 that Dr. Delpassand is offering in Houston, TX? If so what were your results? Also, what is the cost? Does anyone know who it works on liver and bone mets that have uptake? I have been in contact with Christianna several dozen times and I seem to get different answers every time. I heard its for early stages but then Dr. Dlepassand told me it would be okay for me even though I am advanced. I am schedule to start the year long treatment in Feb.
2. Has anyone tried the LU77 that Dr. Delpassand is offering in Houston, TX? I hard that this would be a positive option for me because it works really well on large tumors but the cost is outrages. They are waiting for FDA approval any day on this treatment but any day could be tomorrow or 5 years from now. Does anyone know anything about the results of this treatment?
3. I have been on Afinator but because its not covered under my insurance we are struggling to pay for the $5000 a month price tag.So before my surgery I went off of it. I am not sure if that is why the tumors are flaring up either? I have my doctor writing letters and fighting the insurance company but he tells me he's been through this before with other patients and its not been successful. I had a friend reach out to me about how to fight it but I have tried all his suggestions and nothing. Afinator was working for me. So this is very frustrating. Does anyone know where there is a study or clinical trail going on so I can participate in it? My oncologist will send me anywhere to get the drug.
These are just a few options. Several others on the back burner but these are the three we are entertaining now. Please if anyone has any information on the above please email me below.
I know the true answer will come in pray. Last night Mark and I were praying about all this and relief of the pain. In the middle of the night I got up to take my steamy shower to help with the pain and it came to me to reach out in my blog. I try really hard to keep this an upbeat positive and God written blog. So please take this as a positive out pour.
Well off to get the new bone treatment that is replacing ZOMETA. Sounds promising for bone lost!!!!
Stay warm my friends,
Sunny
I need to reach out to my carcinoid posse or anyone else that has the knowledge of treatments. We are at a crossroads with my treatments or decisions of treatments. The bright side, there is always a bright side, there are some options. I am just not sure which road is best for me. So I would like to use today's blog to post some questions to my carcinoid cancer patients and doctors who read my blog. Please email below if you have any answers.
1. Has anyone tried the Induim 111 that Dr. Delpassand is offering in Houston, TX? If so what were your results? Also, what is the cost? Does anyone know who it works on liver and bone mets that have uptake? I have been in contact with Christianna several dozen times and I seem to get different answers every time. I heard its for early stages but then Dr. Dlepassand told me it would be okay for me even though I am advanced. I am schedule to start the year long treatment in Feb.
2. Has anyone tried the LU77 that Dr. Delpassand is offering in Houston, TX? I hard that this would be a positive option for me because it works really well on large tumors but the cost is outrages. They are waiting for FDA approval any day on this treatment but any day could be tomorrow or 5 years from now. Does anyone know anything about the results of this treatment?
3. I have been on Afinator but because its not covered under my insurance we are struggling to pay for the $5000 a month price tag.So before my surgery I went off of it. I am not sure if that is why the tumors are flaring up either? I have my doctor writing letters and fighting the insurance company but he tells me he's been through this before with other patients and its not been successful. I had a friend reach out to me about how to fight it but I have tried all his suggestions and nothing. Afinator was working for me. So this is very frustrating. Does anyone know where there is a study or clinical trail going on so I can participate in it? My oncologist will send me anywhere to get the drug.
These are just a few options. Several others on the back burner but these are the three we are entertaining now. Please if anyone has any information on the above please email me below.
I know the true answer will come in pray. Last night Mark and I were praying about all this and relief of the pain. In the middle of the night I got up to take my steamy shower to help with the pain and it came to me to reach out in my blog. I try really hard to keep this an upbeat positive and God written blog. So please take this as a positive out pour.
Well off to get the new bone treatment that is replacing ZOMETA. Sounds promising for bone lost!!!!
Stay warm my friends,
Sunny
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)