SUNNY CARNEY After a courageous 10 year fight battling Carcinoid Cancer, Sunny Carney, of Plum, passed peacefully on Saturday, November 3. She was married to her devoted husband, Mark; and was a loving mother to Austen, Logan and Nolan; daughter of Patricia Jennings and the late James J. Jennings; daughter-in-law of Dale and Dottie Carney; sister of Judy Phillips (Ray Jr.), Lynn Pesta (Teddy), Michael Jennings (Vicki Lynn), James Jennings (Sue), Joseph Jennings (Elizabeth), Sheila Fortes (Jim); sister-in-law of Craig Carney (Julia). She is also survived by numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews, and was a true friend and inspiration to many.
In addition to being an inspiration to family and friends Sunny inspired carcinoid cancer patients across the globe through her blog, and then her book "The Sunny Side of Cancer. She spoke at numerous cancer events locally sharing stories of her journey which led her from Basel, Switzerland to all of the top Carcinoid Cancer specialists here in the states. She was an advocate for better diagnosis of the disease and for insurance coverage of treatments. She fought with grace and dignity, never letting the pain inside challenge her faith or diminish her love for life.
Memorials may be made to "Carney Family Fund", c/o S&T Bank, 2190 Hulton Road, Verona, PA 15147.
Friends received Monday 7-9 p.m. and Tuesday 3-8 p.m. at Unity Community Church, 215 Unity Center Road, Plum, PA 15239.
Funeral Services will be held on Wednesday at 11 a.m. in Unity Community Church with Rev. Frank Deluce officiating. Arrangements entrusted to CHARLES W. TRENZ FUNERAL HOME, INC.
VIEW GUEST BOOK Published in Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Surprise!!!
I finally feel safe to let the cat out of the bag. The secret can be told because the product is in my hands. Yesterday I had the first batch of the final draft a my book delivered. Yes I wrote a book titled, The "Sunny" Side of Cancer. Let me explain how this came to fruition. Several publisher have contacted me to compose my blog and a few other personal stories in to published book. They wanted me to share my experience of this cancer journey on all aspects from the family personnel pain, to the treatment pain, the insurance issues, trip to Europe, and the awareness I am trying to raise about this rare cancer called neuroendrocine cancer or carcinoid. At the time I was flattered but did not feel that my story was really one anyone would read. Then my blog readings started to increase to a few hundred to thousands all over the world. Finally, a friend of my who works for a editing company talked me into it pulling my journals and blog post together. Next thing I know I was holding the first draft on Mother's day in my hand.
This book is not a medical journal of neuroendrocine carcinoid cancer. I am not an expert nor a doctor on the disease. In fact I am learning everyday and researching every minute I have about this cancer and the upcoming treatments related to carcinoid cancer. So please don't read it trying to learn the technical details or advice on treatments. Read it to see how I as a Christian mother and wife go through everyday with an incurable rare cancer. It is real life drama and I try to show the "Good in Cancer". There are several blog post and many personnel journal post. Its just about living life with an obstacle in the way. I hope people buy it and enjoy it. What I want most is to for those who read it to feel different when they close the last page.
It will debut at the Wiffleball tournament on Oct 23rd. See above for details. On Oct. 25th it will be available for sale on my website. Then by November it will be available on line and in bookstores.
Thank You all who talked me into writing this book. I really hope you enjoy it and give it for Christmas gifts.
Love Always,
Sunny
This book is not a medical journal of neuroendrocine carcinoid cancer. I am not an expert nor a doctor on the disease. In fact I am learning everyday and researching every minute I have about this cancer and the upcoming treatments related to carcinoid cancer. So please don't read it trying to learn the technical details or advice on treatments. Read it to see how I as a Christian mother and wife go through everyday with an incurable rare cancer. It is real life drama and I try to show the "Good in Cancer". There are several blog post and many personnel journal post. Its just about living life with an obstacle in the way. I hope people buy it and enjoy it. What I want most is to for those who read it to feel different when they close the last page.
It will debut at the Wiffleball tournament on Oct 23rd. See above for details. On Oct. 25th it will be available for sale on my website. Then by November it will be available on line and in bookstores.
Thank You all who talked me into writing this book. I really hope you enjoy it and give it for Christmas gifts.
Love Always,
Sunny
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Catching Up
There is much to catch everyone up on. First let me begin by telling you I finally had the two day Octreotide Scan. Going through this scan this time really showed me exactly how much my cancer has progressed. When I was first diagnosed it truly was no problem to lay in that tube for hours two days in a row. I actually used that time as almost a mediation period. I am not saying that I enjoyed it but I did it with no issues. Well three weeks ago the repeat of that scan was not as pleasant. The masses in my bones have just taken over. I think it was about eight minutes into the test that I was praying for it to end. By day two I was so worked up about not being able to finish the entire scan that Mark and the tech actually sat with me and cheered me through the whole thing. By the end I was crying and praying uncontrollable. When they finally pulled me out of the tube you would of thought I conquered Mt. Everest. I was hugging everyone and saying over and over again, "I finished it.....I did it". I felt so weak and like a complete baby. But I did it and at that point could care less what anyone was thinking. The scan was on a Tuesday and Wednesday and by Thursday afternoon I called a message from Dr. Freidland that my results were back. Mark wanted me to call him back insistently in fact he was upset I missed the call. However, knowing how the last few months have been for me I really was not ready to hear the news. So I waited the weekend and called him back on Monday.
Dr. Freidland and I went over the results and immediately I made an appointment to see him face to face. The Octreotide showed much progression in the tumors that I already have and several new tumors in my hips, back, legs and liver. I kept the news to Mark and myself until I met with doc and had a game plan. I love all those who care about me but it can be very frustrating for me to give bad news and not have any answers on a solution to those I am giving the news to. The first question that I am asked is, "what are you going to do about it?" and fighting cancer does not always have answers like that.
After my appointment with the doc we started taking steps to a new plan of action. I went for some CT scans to take a closer look at the liver and see exactly what the size of the tumors where. The CT scan also shows what is going on inside the liver and the tumors. With those results we can tell the seriousness of the progression. Dr. Freidland stressed that its time to get a move on some PRRT treatments. He did care if it was in Europe or Houston TX but just get something started before its to late. We are schedule tentatively to go to Houston on November 1st. I say tentatively loosely because their are several factors that come to play. Fist the finances, the LU-177 that has shown best results is extremely expensive. We are saving it's just get it all together. Secondly, I am looking into places in Switzerland, Germany and Holland to see if they are more affordable. So I am reaching out to my NET posses all over the world to please email me any information you may have. Mark and I both agree that money will not stop me from my fight but we need to make smart decisions before we spend this amount of money.
As many of you know the founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, passed away this week. The media has been reporting that he passed from a rare form of pancreatic cancer. That rare form of cancer is neuroendrocine, carcinoid or NETS.....whatever way you want to call it. It frustrates me that the media does not report on this further. Today there are several medical talk shows that could expand on this cancer and get the word out that it is the number one misdiagnosed cancer. In some cases it is a slow growing cancer but by the time its been diagnosed it may have been growing for years. Many times its to late once they detect it. I have atypical which means its more aggressive then other forms of NETS. Although, I've been told that its been three years since then. So who knows? My point is as simple as can be: SPREAD THE WORD about carciniod.
On a positive note The Fourth Annual, "Take a Swing Against Carcinoid Cancer Wiffleball Tournament" is only two weeks away. We need you to help us spread the word and grace us with your presences. PLEASE register ASAP. All ages and all types can play. We even had 80 year old Grandma take a swing last year. There is no running, its truly like you neighborhood backyard game of wiffleball. This event is such an amazing day. Great fun and wonderful prizes. We are even auctioning off a FL vacation. If you are not interested in participated come for the day to spend it with your family. Food, beverages and games for a $10 donations. Several groups were upset that they have a football game or a church event. This is event is all day. Come and go as you please. Get you hand stamped and leave. Come back when you are done with your schedule. Don't miss the joy and love that this day brings. Not to mention there is a big surprise this year. BIG SURPRISE!!!! It is truly a wonderful day. Days like these are the reason I fight with all I have. I love seeing all you guys there to support me. Please come.
Sunny
Dr. Freidland and I went over the results and immediately I made an appointment to see him face to face. The Octreotide showed much progression in the tumors that I already have and several new tumors in my hips, back, legs and liver. I kept the news to Mark and myself until I met with doc and had a game plan. I love all those who care about me but it can be very frustrating for me to give bad news and not have any answers on a solution to those I am giving the news to. The first question that I am asked is, "what are you going to do about it?" and fighting cancer does not always have answers like that.
After my appointment with the doc we started taking steps to a new plan of action. I went for some CT scans to take a closer look at the liver and see exactly what the size of the tumors where. The CT scan also shows what is going on inside the liver and the tumors. With those results we can tell the seriousness of the progression. Dr. Freidland stressed that its time to get a move on some PRRT treatments. He did care if it was in Europe or Houston TX but just get something started before its to late. We are schedule tentatively to go to Houston on November 1st. I say tentatively loosely because their are several factors that come to play. Fist the finances, the LU-177 that has shown best results is extremely expensive. We are saving it's just get it all together. Secondly, I am looking into places in Switzerland, Germany and Holland to see if they are more affordable. So I am reaching out to my NET posses all over the world to please email me any information you may have. Mark and I both agree that money will not stop me from my fight but we need to make smart decisions before we spend this amount of money.
As many of you know the founder of Apple, Steve Jobs, passed away this week. The media has been reporting that he passed from a rare form of pancreatic cancer. That rare form of cancer is neuroendrocine, carcinoid or NETS.....whatever way you want to call it. It frustrates me that the media does not report on this further. Today there are several medical talk shows that could expand on this cancer and get the word out that it is the number one misdiagnosed cancer. In some cases it is a slow growing cancer but by the time its been diagnosed it may have been growing for years. Many times its to late once they detect it. I have atypical which means its more aggressive then other forms of NETS. Although, I've been told that its been three years since then. So who knows? My point is as simple as can be: SPREAD THE WORD about carciniod.
On a positive note The Fourth Annual, "Take a Swing Against Carcinoid Cancer Wiffleball Tournament" is only two weeks away. We need you to help us spread the word and grace us with your presences. PLEASE register ASAP. All ages and all types can play. We even had 80 year old Grandma take a swing last year. There is no running, its truly like you neighborhood backyard game of wiffleball. This event is such an amazing day. Great fun and wonderful prizes. We are even auctioning off a FL vacation. If you are not interested in participated come for the day to spend it with your family. Food, beverages and games for a $10 donations. Several groups were upset that they have a football game or a church event. This is event is all day. Come and go as you please. Get you hand stamped and leave. Come back when you are done with your schedule. Don't miss the joy and love that this day brings. Not to mention there is a big surprise this year. BIG SURPRISE!!!! It is truly a wonderful day. Days like these are the reason I fight with all I have. I love seeing all you guys there to support me. Please come.
Sunny
Saturday, September 24, 2011
old post
So I was reading through some old post for a surprise I have coming.....can't tell you. I'll let the hat out of the bag soon.
Anyways I saw this one and I wanted to repost it because it brought tears to my eyes. I completely forgot about this day.
March 23, 2010
Daffodil
Anyways I saw this one and I wanted to repost it because it brought tears to my eyes. I completely forgot about this day.
March 23, 2010
Daffodil
Sunday was such a glorious day here in Pittsburgh
As I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and feeling very used, I heard my cell phone buzzing that a text just came through. Needing an excuse to not continue I grab my phone to check out what it said. I looked down to see Fav yung son on the name of who the text was sent. That stands for "my favorite youngest son" which is what I jokingly call him at times. I open the text only to see it was a picture of a daffodil from my Nolan and text written above the picture that said, "with the gang and saw this in someone's yard and thought of you. I cannot pick it because I don't want anyone to think I'm weird. I hope you like to just look at it.” I must say my heart insistently melted.
I have to wonder if cancer has made Nolan as thoughtful as he was on Sunday. Has our journey softened my boys? Or would they have become this sensitive and loving even if we had a normal life? I truly believe they have become who they are because of our situation. Believe me when I tell you this surprise does not happen often, but they seem to come at such perfect times. I hate cancer and I hate what it does to others and families. I believe that cancer is somehow a form of the devil. But I also know that we have become different people for the better because of being struck with this daemon.
About an hour after receiving the text, the door flew open and in come a group of about twelve boys ranging from the ages of 11 to 15 to hit our basement to watch the NCAA march madness with Mark. I cringed because I knew this meant mess number two and bad odors entering my freshly cleaned house. I handed each one a bottle of water and warned Mark they were entering the "man cave.” At the end of the stampede was Nolan holding that beautiful daffodil he texted me a picture of. Once again I felt my heart melting like candle wax. He handed me the flower and told me to hurry and put it water because he picked it right after he texted me. He claimed that Austen and Logan told him to. I gave him a huge hug and just held him. He then pulled away when he heard someone yelling for him to hurry up because Pitt was on. As he ran downstairs to join the rest of "THE GANG" he turned to me and demanded, "chips mom.” Once again I knew that despite my cancer I have a truly perfect life.
As I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and feeling very used, I heard my cell phone buzzing that a text just came through. Needing an excuse to not continue I grab my phone to check out what it said. I looked down to see Fav yung son on the name of who the text was sent. That stands for "my favorite youngest son" which is what I jokingly call him at times. I open the text only to see it was a picture of a daffodil from my Nolan and text written above the picture that said, "with the gang and saw this in someone's yard and thought of you. I cannot pick it because I don't want anyone to think I'm weird. I hope you like to just look at it.” I must say my heart insistently melted.
I have to wonder if cancer has made Nolan as thoughtful as he was on Sunday. Has our journey softened my boys? Or would they have become this sensitive and loving even if we had a normal life? I truly believe they have become who they are because of our situation. Believe me when I tell you this surprise does not happen often, but they seem to come at such perfect times. I hate cancer and I hate what it does to others and families. I believe that cancer is somehow a form of the devil. But I also know that we have become different people for the better because of being struck with this daemon.
About an hour after receiving the text, the door flew open and in come a group of about twelve boys ranging from the ages of 11 to 15 to hit our basement to watch the NCAA march madness with Mark. I cringed because I knew this meant mess number two and bad odors entering my freshly cleaned house. I handed each one a bottle of water and warned Mark they were entering the "man cave.” At the end of the stampede was Nolan holding that beautiful daffodil he texted me a picture of. Once again I felt my heart melting like candle wax. He handed me the flower and told me to hurry and put it water because he picked it right after he texted me. He claimed that Austen and Logan told him to. I gave him a huge hug and just held him. He then pulled away when he heard someone yelling for him to hurry up because Pitt was on. As he ran downstairs to join the rest of "THE GANG" he turned to me and demanded, "chips mom.” Once again I knew that despite my cancer I have a truly perfect life.
Sunny
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Miles of Smiles
Yesterday was the 4th Annual Miles for Smiles for Carcinoid Cancer for Sunny 5k run and 1 mile walk. I cannot believe I wrote 4th Annual. Its been three and a half years since my relapse. Anyways, I think it was the best one yet. Our turnout was the largest ever. The weather was absolutely beautiful. But the peace, love and spirit in the air was fantastic. Every year is better then the last without saying, but there was something different about this year. I cannot put my finger exactly on it so I am hoping by the time I am finish with this post putting my thoughts down will help me understand what I was feeling. I hope I can just get through the post and hit publish. I have been trying since yesterday afternoon but every time I type a little the tears have overwhelmed me.
Three and half years ago when I was approached by a few friends that had this wonderful idea to start this group made up of runners to help me get to the funds I need to get to Switzerland and any other medical expenses I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I had just been told that my cancer was back and there was no known treatments in the US. I hesitated at first to accept their offer to have a race to raise money for my treatments. I had no idea how we would cover all the cost of this cancer journey however I did not want to reach out for help. Then one of the R4R (running for a reason) members said, "we need a reason to get up and run everyday. We want you to be our reason. Do not deny us this opportunity". With a little more nudging I reluctantly accepted. Little did I know at the time that this whole event would not just change my life but reach out and touch so many other lives.
I don't even know the words to describe yesterday. Amazing, beautiful, spiritual, humbling and fabulous are just a few but cannot even begin to describe the love that was felt. I have to tell you that it could not of come at a more perfect time. The last few months have been really rough on me. Hence the lack of posts. Everyday is a new issue. The pain is overtaking at times and to add the weakness and fatigue. I have been trying hard to hold on to my spirit and good attitude. However at times its been close to impossible. When fighting cancer there are times when you feel like the whole world is going on without you. It invades your life. My faith keeps me strong but sometimes I need a little more. Yesterday was the MORE I needed to keep me going for a long time. The support and love I felt motivates me to go on. Mark told me today that I am like a new person. I don't feel any less of a cancer patient. The pain is still there and I am exhausted as usual. But I have that perk again. The spunk is back and the will to go on is sparked again. I had no idea that yesterday would do that for me but honestly today I feel refreshed. When the R4R group originally named the race "Miles for Smiles" I think is was because I am always smiling. Its been my "MO" since I was just a little girl. Well on the outside I have not lost that smile, but lately on the inside its been harder and harder to feel happy. So this race the "Miles for Smiles" for me means you gave me my inside smile back.
I have to give a big shout of appreciation to my R4R family. I would list each name but they are so humble they would not want me to. One of the biggest things in ones life to give to someone is not money or material goods. Time is the most valuable gift you can give anyone. Each and ever member of R4R has given so much of their precious time me. An event of this magnitude is not something that is done in a week. It takes months and months of planning. Many nights have been spent at meetings. Many hours have been spent on the phone. All time that they can never get back......all time they have given to me and my family. Like I have said many many times over and over again the two little words "Thank You" does not seem to describe who much I appreciate everything you have all done. What amazes me more is that each one of you has said thank you to me for letting you do this event. Thank You to me? Really? It just shows the hearts of each of you. I have to tell you all that I really do love you like my own family. We have a bond that will forever be. You are all in this journey with me. You are my running angels.
So I guess I figured out why yesterday was so different then any other event we have had. Its because I needed the love more then ever before. This cancer life was starting to overcome me. It was starting to crush my spirit. Yesterday was the exact lifted I needed to continue to fight. I needed to see how many people are still at my side. I had to see that my life can go on like everyone else. It may not be in the same direction as others but I have a life to live. My life is to fight this beast.
Thank you everyone you participated in every way you all did. Thank you all the sponsors. Thank you all who came and hugged me. Thank you my running angels for continuing to love me through it.
Love.
Sunny
Three and half years ago when I was approached by a few friends that had this wonderful idea to start this group made up of runners to help me get to the funds I need to get to Switzerland and any other medical expenses I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I had just been told that my cancer was back and there was no known treatments in the US. I hesitated at first to accept their offer to have a race to raise money for my treatments. I had no idea how we would cover all the cost of this cancer journey however I did not want to reach out for help. Then one of the R4R (running for a reason) members said, "we need a reason to get up and run everyday. We want you to be our reason. Do not deny us this opportunity". With a little more nudging I reluctantly accepted. Little did I know at the time that this whole event would not just change my life but reach out and touch so many other lives.
I don't even know the words to describe yesterday. Amazing, beautiful, spiritual, humbling and fabulous are just a few but cannot even begin to describe the love that was felt. I have to tell you that it could not of come at a more perfect time. The last few months have been really rough on me. Hence the lack of posts. Everyday is a new issue. The pain is overtaking at times and to add the weakness and fatigue. I have been trying hard to hold on to my spirit and good attitude. However at times its been close to impossible. When fighting cancer there are times when you feel like the whole world is going on without you. It invades your life. My faith keeps me strong but sometimes I need a little more. Yesterday was the MORE I needed to keep me going for a long time. The support and love I felt motivates me to go on. Mark told me today that I am like a new person. I don't feel any less of a cancer patient. The pain is still there and I am exhausted as usual. But I have that perk again. The spunk is back and the will to go on is sparked again. I had no idea that yesterday would do that for me but honestly today I feel refreshed. When the R4R group originally named the race "Miles for Smiles" I think is was because I am always smiling. Its been my "MO" since I was just a little girl. Well on the outside I have not lost that smile, but lately on the inside its been harder and harder to feel happy. So this race the "Miles for Smiles" for me means you gave me my inside smile back.
I have to give a big shout of appreciation to my R4R family. I would list each name but they are so humble they would not want me to. One of the biggest things in ones life to give to someone is not money or material goods. Time is the most valuable gift you can give anyone. Each and ever member of R4R has given so much of their precious time me. An event of this magnitude is not something that is done in a week. It takes months and months of planning. Many nights have been spent at meetings. Many hours have been spent on the phone. All time that they can never get back......all time they have given to me and my family. Like I have said many many times over and over again the two little words "Thank You" does not seem to describe who much I appreciate everything you have all done. What amazes me more is that each one of you has said thank you to me for letting you do this event. Thank You to me? Really? It just shows the hearts of each of you. I have to tell you all that I really do love you like my own family. We have a bond that will forever be. You are all in this journey with me. You are my running angels.
So I guess I figured out why yesterday was so different then any other event we have had. Its because I needed the love more then ever before. This cancer life was starting to overcome me. It was starting to crush my spirit. Yesterday was the exact lifted I needed to continue to fight. I needed to see how many people are still at my side. I had to see that my life can go on like everyone else. It may not be in the same direction as others but I have a life to live. My life is to fight this beast.
Thank you everyone you participated in every way you all did. Thank you all the sponsors. Thank you all who came and hugged me. Thank you my running angels for continuing to love me through it.
Love.
Sunny
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I have to start off by saying the last few weeks have had it's ups and downs. We took a family vacation to Geneva on the Lake. It was beautiful and very peaceful. The boys are teenagers so being with their parents isn't quite as cool, but they made the best of it. Mark took them to a warterpark, I opted out because of treatments, they played some golf and spent some time in the lake. Because of my weakness and some pain I had to stay back at the lodge but I made myself comfortable in the hot tub. Truly, I really was just happy to see them having a great time. However, each trip or adventure is defiantly used as a marker to the progression of my cancer. The boys remember the last vacation and what I was able to do. They recall how much better I felt and subconsciously compare. Several times I heard them say things like, "last trip she went golfing or she walked the beach every morning the last time we went away". One day I went back to our room to rest after a while the boys were in there room and I heard my oldest ask if I was sleeping again. Of course I popped right out of bed then. But when I asked them if they wanted to do something they just grunted. I have to say I was just glad we were all together no matter how I felt. We had some great nights at the lodge and did a lot of night swimming. Well they swam and I sat very comfortably in the hot tub. After six days together we were all ready to get home. Me to my comfortable bed and wonderful shower and the boys to their friends and social life.
After we got home the my pain become uncontrollable again. I truly wish I understood this cancer. It's as unpredictable as the Pittsburgh Pirates. However, I am relieved the pain waited until I got home. There were a few days on vacation that I was not well but the day was not a complete wash. Friday night I think Mark and I got a total of 30 minutes of sleep. It was one of the pains that truly nothing would work on. Mark finally just held me as I curled up in a ball, we prayed out loud and we dozed off for a short time. Saturday I spent in bed most of the day while Mark tended to the boys activities. Logan and Nolan spent the night at my mom's so that they could get a good quiet night of rest. Austen did his social thing and really is somewhat unaffected by my bad days. He's a teenager and really its all about him, which I am actually thankful for.
On Friday when I knew this was going to be a long pain bout I sent out some notes to my prayer warriors. I also knew that my regular pray warriors for me would get the word too. I don't know how many total I had praying for me but I figure it must of been a large group. Sunday morning I awaken at my usual 5 am and realized that I had only been up once in the middle of the night to take a pain pill. I felt refreshed and the pain had lessened greatly. I was afraid to wake Mark to tell him that I felt good for fear that it was just a temporary thing. My mornings are my time to read my devotional and my bible. After about an hour I tapped on Mark's arm and told him I felt good. I cannot wait to share that kind of news with him. He worries so much when I am at my worse and breathes again when those times pass. I just wanted to start the day because I did not want to miss anytime that I felt good. Unfortunately it was only 6 am and the sun was not even up.
I had to go to church on Sunday. I had to show thanks to God. Our Pastor, Frank Deluce, says at the end of every service, "Remember you go no place by accident, where ever you go God is sending you." This Sunday was one of those days. Have you ever felt in church that the sermon was written just for you? Do you ever wonder if everyone is hearing the same thing you are hearing? That was this day. The topic was Sustaining Grace and how God gives you this gift just when you think you cannot handle anymore. Sustaining Grace is defined as a specific, timely infusion of God's strength in a Christ-follower to allow them to find hope and endurance as they are matured through all kinds of suffering.
It was like a light bulb went off in my head. At times when I have been at my lowest point and think that I may not get out of this one, I manage to give it to Him. I have reached out to others and asked for pray. I have wondered how I got through some of the things I have gone through, but I know now that it is God that gives me sustaining grace. We don't know when its going to come or how much suffering we have to endure before God gives it to us. But if we approach Him with confidence and ask, in His time we will receive. This does not mean our trails will be less or go away. It means we will be equipped to handle them better. I don't know when the battle of cancer will be ending for me or even how it will end, but what I need to remember is that I will always be given God's grace to handle it.
There’s a mission to accomplish, and a battle to be won!
We’ve been called to take the challenge by God’s might and through His Son;
He will give us grace to complete the race, moving forward, pressing on!'
With Grace,
Sunny
After we got home the my pain become uncontrollable again. I truly wish I understood this cancer. It's as unpredictable as the Pittsburgh Pirates. However, I am relieved the pain waited until I got home. There were a few days on vacation that I was not well but the day was not a complete wash. Friday night I think Mark and I got a total of 30 minutes of sleep. It was one of the pains that truly nothing would work on. Mark finally just held me as I curled up in a ball, we prayed out loud and we dozed off for a short time. Saturday I spent in bed most of the day while Mark tended to the boys activities. Logan and Nolan spent the night at my mom's so that they could get a good quiet night of rest. Austen did his social thing and really is somewhat unaffected by my bad days. He's a teenager and really its all about him, which I am actually thankful for.
On Friday when I knew this was going to be a long pain bout I sent out some notes to my prayer warriors. I also knew that my regular pray warriors for me would get the word too. I don't know how many total I had praying for me but I figure it must of been a large group. Sunday morning I awaken at my usual 5 am and realized that I had only been up once in the middle of the night to take a pain pill. I felt refreshed and the pain had lessened greatly. I was afraid to wake Mark to tell him that I felt good for fear that it was just a temporary thing. My mornings are my time to read my devotional and my bible. After about an hour I tapped on Mark's arm and told him I felt good. I cannot wait to share that kind of news with him. He worries so much when I am at my worse and breathes again when those times pass. I just wanted to start the day because I did not want to miss anytime that I felt good. Unfortunately it was only 6 am and the sun was not even up.
I had to go to church on Sunday. I had to show thanks to God. Our Pastor, Frank Deluce, says at the end of every service, "Remember you go no place by accident, where ever you go God is sending you." This Sunday was one of those days. Have you ever felt in church that the sermon was written just for you? Do you ever wonder if everyone is hearing the same thing you are hearing? That was this day. The topic was Sustaining Grace and how God gives you this gift just when you think you cannot handle anymore. Sustaining Grace is defined as a specific, timely infusion of God's strength in a Christ-follower to allow them to find hope and endurance as they are matured through all kinds of suffering.
It was like a light bulb went off in my head. At times when I have been at my lowest point and think that I may not get out of this one, I manage to give it to Him. I have reached out to others and asked for pray. I have wondered how I got through some of the things I have gone through, but I know now that it is God that gives me sustaining grace. We don't know when its going to come or how much suffering we have to endure before God gives it to us. But if we approach Him with confidence and ask, in His time we will receive. This does not mean our trails will be less or go away. It means we will be equipped to handle them better. I don't know when the battle of cancer will be ending for me or even how it will end, but what I need to remember is that I will always be given God's grace to handle it.
There’s a mission to accomplish, and a battle to be won!
We’ve been called to take the challenge by God’s might and through His Son;
He will give us grace to complete the race, moving forward, pressing on!'
With Grace,
Sunny
Friday, July 22, 2011
SIXTEEN YEARS WITH SUNSHINE
Some of you may know that today is our anniversary. Some of you may have been there. If so, then you remember that day as the hottest July 22 in Pittsburgh history(heat index of like 147F in St Rosalia's...the ceiling fans a nice visual touch though) so its only fitting that its hot enough today to recreate the actual event if we wanted to. If Nike Dri Fit could be made into a tux it would have been moist that afternoon. Sunny had designed her own gown, her mother had made it, and the visual impact of her tan skin with the lace trim and beaded train(no not bedazzled, although our kids mumbled that when forced to watch the old school VHS) was as stunningly beautiful as a heavenly first glimpse of a rich orange sun rising out of the blue Atlantic into the soft morning sky, still draped with the clouds of the night before. To say she was a beautiful bride is an understatement bigger than asserting the Pirates are doing a little better than predicted. I always joke that the key to a happy marriage is to "marry up" and have a wife that when the two of you enter a room the murmuring starts--Damn....why is she with him?
I have always said that the beginning of my sales career....the biggest sale I ever closed....was the plan I had to lay out and execute to woo the Warden's daughter. Every other challenge business can throw my way is a no-brainer in comparision. She has been my best friend , my inspiration, my voice of reason, my walking miracle ever since.
So today I don't reflect on treatments, appointments, medicine, or cancer. Today I celebrate the wonderful life that we have been blessed to share. Her smile is still wide, her nose still a little button, her eyes still bewitching. Her attitude still leaves no room for those that won't do the best they can. Her heart is as deep, her compassion as humbling, and her desire to push this man and this family forward as strong as ever.
So today as I recall the moments that make up the Kodak moments of our life together I can state that I love her more now than yesterday, and am thankful that she came into my life and decided to jump in the front car on this rollercoaster that we call life.
Sunny---Happy 16th....I love you
Mark
I have always said that the beginning of my sales career....the biggest sale I ever closed....was the plan I had to lay out and execute to woo the Warden's daughter. Every other challenge business can throw my way is a no-brainer in comparision. She has been my best friend , my inspiration, my voice of reason, my walking miracle ever since.
So today I don't reflect on treatments, appointments, medicine, or cancer. Today I celebrate the wonderful life that we have been blessed to share. Her smile is still wide, her nose still a little button, her eyes still bewitching. Her attitude still leaves no room for those that won't do the best they can. Her heart is as deep, her compassion as humbling, and her desire to push this man and this family forward as strong as ever.
So today as I recall the moments that make up the Kodak moments of our life together I can state that I love her more now than yesterday, and am thankful that she came into my life and decided to jump in the front car on this rollercoaster that we call life.
Sunny---Happy 16th....I love you
Mark
Friday, July 8, 2011
What's new???
I know I started this blog to keep everyone updated on my treatments and progression of the cancer. But truthfully sometimes I just hate talking or writing about it. Its so involved and gets more complicated as time goes on. As for the blog its been more of way for me to let go of all the thoughts and feelings that go on in my mind as I battle then its original purpose. Some have told me they miss when I don't post for awhile because it uplifts them reading my entries. Others say they cannot read my blog and cry every time they go on. Of course neither was my intentions. It has kinda grown into more of an emotional blog then just facts and medical terminology. Although, I know that my purpose is to spread the news on treatments not to just update all those that care about me but to help other carcinoid patient that read my blog. So this post is going to be just that...the going ons of my cancer world for the past month or so.
Pain, pain, pain is all I can say to describe the last few months. Deep down actual bone pain. In April I had the chemoembolization of the liver and after an eight week wait we saw some progress. So my docs and I were thrilled about that. However that was just one tumor in the liver. But on the bright side that was the largest. That was my fifth chemoembolization since the discovery of this monster and I have to say it knocked me on my butt until about two weeks ago. I was not able to keep food down, very weak, extreme fatigue, and pain in the liver
In the meantime I have been also having horrible pain in the legs and back. All areas that I have tumors but this pain was more then that. I have had the feeling that more then just cancer is going on. My oncologist sent me for a series of MRIs but the pain was so bad I only made it through the first scan for 12 minutes. Got some results....saw some new tumors....but still think that there is more going on. I started physical therapy, actually going with Austen who has had knee surgery, and it helped strengthen me but the pain did not get much better. Finally after 8 weeks of PT my therapist suggested I go see an orthopedic doctor that he recommends. I have an oncologist orthopedic doctor that I like but don't love. He did save my leg and everyone that speaks of him say he is amazing (as a doctor and surgeon). I have to agree he is a genius but I complained to him several times about the pain and he said it was what I will get from the hip and femur replacement. Of course that is not good enough for me. I will accept my cancer but pain is not something I can live with. Not to mention I am miserable and that effects my kids. So since my PT guy thought that I should see this one I went.
He was great. He did more XRays and came to his opinion very quickly. He feels that the rod that was put to replace my hip and femur is too large for my small frame. He saw that the pin to connect the two was tearing and leaning on my tendons. He also showed me a new bone or calcification growing in that area. He determined that this would cause even someone without cancer tremendous pain. We came up with a few options but I need to consult with a few other doctors to make sure the are options for me.
That is the news on the medical front in a summary version. As I read over the last few paragraphs I get a pit in my stomach. That pit is probably why I hate writing or talking about what is medically going on with me. I don't mind when people ask and I share as much as I can. I really despise seeing the words written down though. There is so much more that has been going on with this cancer but its so complicated I really want to keep it in my head for now.
On a good note our family summer is going great. Austen is healing from his reconstructive knee surgery. I have been taking it easy on the chemo for now and am planning on starting my Houston treatment in Sept as long as my blood counts are up. The boys will be in school and that will make things easier for those that are pitching in to watch them.
I want to close this post with hope. In going through the last few months I have not lost my hope. However I know that faith is truly what makes you hope become reality.
Sunny
Pain, pain, pain is all I can say to describe the last few months. Deep down actual bone pain. In April I had the chemoembolization of the liver and after an eight week wait we saw some progress. So my docs and I were thrilled about that. However that was just one tumor in the liver. But on the bright side that was the largest. That was my fifth chemoembolization since the discovery of this monster and I have to say it knocked me on my butt until about two weeks ago. I was not able to keep food down, very weak, extreme fatigue, and pain in the liver
In the meantime I have been also having horrible pain in the legs and back. All areas that I have tumors but this pain was more then that. I have had the feeling that more then just cancer is going on. My oncologist sent me for a series of MRIs but the pain was so bad I only made it through the first scan for 12 minutes. Got some results....saw some new tumors....but still think that there is more going on. I started physical therapy, actually going with Austen who has had knee surgery, and it helped strengthen me but the pain did not get much better. Finally after 8 weeks of PT my therapist suggested I go see an orthopedic doctor that he recommends. I have an oncologist orthopedic doctor that I like but don't love. He did save my leg and everyone that speaks of him say he is amazing (as a doctor and surgeon). I have to agree he is a genius but I complained to him several times about the pain and he said it was what I will get from the hip and femur replacement. Of course that is not good enough for me. I will accept my cancer but pain is not something I can live with. Not to mention I am miserable and that effects my kids. So since my PT guy thought that I should see this one I went.
He was great. He did more XRays and came to his opinion very quickly. He feels that the rod that was put to replace my hip and femur is too large for my small frame. He saw that the pin to connect the two was tearing and leaning on my tendons. He also showed me a new bone or calcification growing in that area. He determined that this would cause even someone without cancer tremendous pain. We came up with a few options but I need to consult with a few other doctors to make sure the are options for me.
That is the news on the medical front in a summary version. As I read over the last few paragraphs I get a pit in my stomach. That pit is probably why I hate writing or talking about what is medically going on with me. I don't mind when people ask and I share as much as I can. I really despise seeing the words written down though. There is so much more that has been going on with this cancer but its so complicated I really want to keep it in my head for now.
On a good note our family summer is going great. Austen is healing from his reconstructive knee surgery. I have been taking it easy on the chemo for now and am planning on starting my Houston treatment in Sept as long as my blood counts are up. The boys will be in school and that will make things easier for those that are pitching in to watch them.
I want to close this post with hope. In going through the last few months I have not lost my hope. However I know that faith is truly what makes you hope become reality.
Sunny
Friday, June 10, 2011
Summer
It is officially summer in the Carney house. Yesterday was the last day of school and I no longer have any elementary school children. In a few months my youngest moves on to middle school with my middle son and my oldest starts High School. I truly wish I could be like other mothers and have tears of sadness because of how fast they are growing up but our family is not like others. I was so thrilled to be healthy enough to attend all the year end activities I could not help but have tears of complete joy. Joy that I am here to see each one of my sons reach a milestone.
As I sat holding Mark's hand at Nolan's sixth grade graduation on Tuesday I reminisced about his first day of kindergarten like I am sure all the other moms did. Mark wiped my check a few times and whispered to me, "you made it". I thought of the first time I put Nolan on the school bus with his brothers and then came home to an empty house. Even though I have not looked at the photo of him on that day for a long time I can tell you exactly what he was wearing that morning. His blond head, big blue eyes and adorable big smile ready to hit the world of school. He had no fears, just excitement to be with his brothers all day. Its one of those memories that you never forget. That day when I sat at the kitchen table, sticky with syrup and dirty dish from the first day of school smiley face pancakes, I cried tears of emptiness. Mark was probably working his normal 13+ hours a day and my three buddies were leaving me to be taught by someone else. Why does life have to move so quickly? Never did I imagine seven years later I would be praying to see them graduate from High School.
So the end of another school year to me, and other mothers battling cancer, are happy times. It is a day of relief that you made it. As I watch my boys grow up I see that every week, month, and year they become more independent and more prepared for life. As time through this cancer journey passes Mark becomes more prepared to raise our teenagers. Our family dynamics have changed since the three years of this fight. I know that my boys are okay and that I need to be here for me. I need to see my boys succeed more then I need to show them how to succeed. I am so happy that I am here to see my boys bring home report cards, graduate from elementary school, move on to middle school and high school, grow taller then their father, achieve their goals and grow closer to becoming an adult. So although my life is going by very quickly I am blessed that I am here to run the race of time. As I continue to fight everyday I hope that I remember what I write today. I pray that when the treatments are at their worse and the sickness and pain is overcoming I can keep going so I can shed more tears of joy.
Sunny
As I sat holding Mark's hand at Nolan's sixth grade graduation on Tuesday I reminisced about his first day of kindergarten like I am sure all the other moms did. Mark wiped my check a few times and whispered to me, "you made it". I thought of the first time I put Nolan on the school bus with his brothers and then came home to an empty house. Even though I have not looked at the photo of him on that day for a long time I can tell you exactly what he was wearing that morning. His blond head, big blue eyes and adorable big smile ready to hit the world of school. He had no fears, just excitement to be with his brothers all day. Its one of those memories that you never forget. That day when I sat at the kitchen table, sticky with syrup and dirty dish from the first day of school smiley face pancakes, I cried tears of emptiness. Mark was probably working his normal 13+ hours a day and my three buddies were leaving me to be taught by someone else. Why does life have to move so quickly? Never did I imagine seven years later I would be praying to see them graduate from High School.
So the end of another school year to me, and other mothers battling cancer, are happy times. It is a day of relief that you made it. As I watch my boys grow up I see that every week, month, and year they become more independent and more prepared for life. As time through this cancer journey passes Mark becomes more prepared to raise our teenagers. Our family dynamics have changed since the three years of this fight. I know that my boys are okay and that I need to be here for me. I need to see my boys succeed more then I need to show them how to succeed. I am so happy that I am here to see my boys bring home report cards, graduate from elementary school, move on to middle school and high school, grow taller then their father, achieve their goals and grow closer to becoming an adult. So although my life is going by very quickly I am blessed that I am here to run the race of time. As I continue to fight everyday I hope that I remember what I write today. I pray that when the treatments are at their worse and the sickness and pain is overcoming I can keep going so I can shed more tears of joy.
Sunny
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Scan Results
As many of you know I had another chemoembolization to the liver on April 1st. It is not a secret that they are the most torturous treatments I have ever gone through. According to my liver oncologist many people have no problems with them and are back to normal activity in two or three weeks. I am not sure if he says that to ease my fear, because everyone that I have spoken with that has gone through them describes them just as horrid as I feel after one. I don't know if it's the amount of tumors I have in my liver, if its because my cancer is not "normal" liver cancer, or possibly the fact that I am a small framed lady. Whatever the case is I am a mess for two to three months after. This last one has really kick me in the butt. But every single one of those embolizations have given me some kind of shrinkage. Which makes it all worth it for me and my family.
Friday was my eight week scan to see if the treatment was a success. I must announce there was some shrinkage in one of the larger tumors in the liver. The other seven or so remained stable. I have to say Mark and I were extremely relieved that all the suffering lead to something good. Of course I am still fighting this cancer at full speed and without God's miracle of healing I will be for the rest of my life. Once again carcinoid is not curable. Not curable may seem quite bleak when you think of life and death. However, none of us can avoid death. My goal is to live long fighting this beast and keeping in control of it.
So we are now back on the game plan. My liver oncologist gave me some options. First he wanted to schedule another chemoembolization for the other remaining tumors to be attacked. Both Mark and I nearly fell off our chairs. The thought of doing this again so quickly was unbearable. Mark then spoke up and asked if that would be a good idea for me to go through this again with the pain I've been in and my blood levels nowhere near normal. Then doc looked at some of my charts and agreed that I may need to wait awhile. Gee, thanks for your knowledge doc. So we decided to plug forward and get me strong again.
The second option was to get my body strong, control the pain and get my blood levels up so that I can get to Houston for the experimental treatment LU77. It's been my plan all along and because of the new growth of the liver I had to put it on temporary hold. However, its on again depending on how quick my body bounces back. The third option I will leave for another day. In my opinion its one of the last options.
To many it may seem that my news is not so good. I am not in remission, my cancer is still through my body and there is no known cure right now. To me and my husband our prays have been answered. There was some shrinkage in the tumor that was giving me the most problems. I am not accepting that one day I will not be cancer free. We know that "All things are possible through HIM". However, I am thankful God has given me more time and more options. In a few months my oldest son will be starting high school. To many of my friends whose children are starting with him they are sad that time went so fast. I understand that because I would of felt the same way if it wasn't for my cancer. Although, to me I am so thrilled that I am here to see it happen. The tears I cry this Sept. after he walks out the door on his big HS adventure are not the same fearful tears I cried on his first day of kindergarten. They will be tears of relief that I am here for him. They will be tears of joy that our family has made it this far. I look back on three years ago and remember the doctor telling me to get things in order.....six months or less. I remember saying to Mark on the car ride home from that appointment, I will never see them go to High School. God has given me the opportunity to see them grow up three years older. God has blessed me. He is not done with me yet.
Thank you for all you prays,
Sunny
Friday was my eight week scan to see if the treatment was a success. I must announce there was some shrinkage in one of the larger tumors in the liver. The other seven or so remained stable. I have to say Mark and I were extremely relieved that all the suffering lead to something good. Of course I am still fighting this cancer at full speed and without God's miracle of healing I will be for the rest of my life. Once again carcinoid is not curable. Not curable may seem quite bleak when you think of life and death. However, none of us can avoid death. My goal is to live long fighting this beast and keeping in control of it.
So we are now back on the game plan. My liver oncologist gave me some options. First he wanted to schedule another chemoembolization for the other remaining tumors to be attacked. Both Mark and I nearly fell off our chairs. The thought of doing this again so quickly was unbearable. Mark then spoke up and asked if that would be a good idea for me to go through this again with the pain I've been in and my blood levels nowhere near normal. Then doc looked at some of my charts and agreed that I may need to wait awhile. Gee, thanks for your knowledge doc. So we decided to plug forward and get me strong again.
The second option was to get my body strong, control the pain and get my blood levels up so that I can get to Houston for the experimental treatment LU77. It's been my plan all along and because of the new growth of the liver I had to put it on temporary hold. However, its on again depending on how quick my body bounces back. The third option I will leave for another day. In my opinion its one of the last options.
To many it may seem that my news is not so good. I am not in remission, my cancer is still through my body and there is no known cure right now. To me and my husband our prays have been answered. There was some shrinkage in the tumor that was giving me the most problems. I am not accepting that one day I will not be cancer free. We know that "All things are possible through HIM". However, I am thankful God has given me more time and more options. In a few months my oldest son will be starting high school. To many of my friends whose children are starting with him they are sad that time went so fast. I understand that because I would of felt the same way if it wasn't for my cancer. Although, to me I am so thrilled that I am here to see it happen. The tears I cry this Sept. after he walks out the door on his big HS adventure are not the same fearful tears I cried on his first day of kindergarten. They will be tears of relief that I am here for him. They will be tears of joy that our family has made it this far. I look back on three years ago and remember the doctor telling me to get things in order.....six months or less. I remember saying to Mark on the car ride home from that appointment, I will never see them go to High School. God has given me the opportunity to see them grow up three years older. God has blessed me. He is not done with me yet.
Thank you for all you prays,
Sunny
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