SUNNY CARNEY
After a courageous 10 year fight battling Carcinoid Cancer, Sunny Carney, of Plum, passed peacefully on Saturday, November 3. She was married to her devoted husband, Mark; and was a loving mother to Austen, Logan and Nolan; daughter of Patricia Jennings and the late James J. Jennings; daughter-in-law of Dale and Dottie Carney; sister of Judy Phillips (Ray Jr.), Lynn Pesta (Teddy), Michael Jennings (Vicki Lynn), James Jennings (Sue), Joseph Jennings (Elizabeth), Sheila Fortes (Jim); sister-in-law of Craig Carney (Julia). She is also survived by numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews, and was a true friend and inspiration to many.
In addition to being an inspiration to family and friends Sunny inspired carcinoid cancer patients across the globe through her blog, and then her book "The Sunny Side of Cancer. She spoke at numerous cancer events locally sharing stories of her journey which led her from Basel, Switzerland to all of the top Carcinoid Cancer specialists here in the states. She was an advocate for better diagnosis of the disease and for insurance coverage of treatments. She fought with grace and dignity, never letting the pain inside challenge her faith or diminish her love for life.
Memorials may be made to "Carney Family Fund", c/o S&T Bank, 2190 Hulton Road, Verona, PA 15147.
Friends received Monday 7-9 p.m. and Tuesday 3-8 p.m. at Unity Community Church, 215 Unity Center Road, Plum, PA 15239.
Funeral Services will be held on Wednesday at 11 a.m. in Unity Community Church with Rev. Frank Deluce officiating. Arrangements entrusted to CHARLES W. TRENZ FUNERAL HOME, INC.
VIEW GUEST BOOK Published in Pittsburgh Post-Gazette


After over a decade of suffering from Carcinoid Cancer, Sunny Jennings Carney has decided to fight back. She has currently undergone two proven treatments in Basel, Switzerland and is planning to return for two more. She is also planning on going to Houston, Texas for a six month period to undergo experimental treatments that look promising but are not FDA approved. She has exhausted all the FDA approved treatments here in the United States and will not accept that this is all there is for her. She has dedicated her fight to help others understand this rare cancer and to find successful treatments in the United States. Her strong faith in God and will to never quit has turned a 6 month life expectancy to over two years presently.

Below is an entry that was written by Sunny's husband Mark when she had her third bout. To become updated on her journey please enjoy her posts.

Please check back for updates and event information.

Sunny Carney Carcinoid Cancer Fund
C/o S & T Bank
2190 Hulton Road
Verona, PA 15147


Sunny's husband Mark tells their story...

A mother of three boys, a daughter, the baby sister to a large family, an aunt, a godmother to several, a trusted friend, an outreach volunteer, a business owner and my wife. Sunny Carney lives up to her name every time someone speaks to her; she is beautiful both in and out. She has been my biggest motivator, my rock and my inspiration in tough times, my biggest fan in good times, and most importantly my best friend. Told 14 years ago that having children may not be part of our future because of ovarian cancer, she kept the faith, and is a wonderful mother to our three sons- Austen, Logan, and Nolan. She is always ensuring that they know the Lord, love of life, kindness to others, hard work, and occasionally when to "shape up".

Her boundless energy, healthy lifestyle and positive attitude are infectious. She has served as president of our children’s PTA, organized committees that benefit those who are less fortunate in the community and led drives for those who have been caught up in unfortunate situations. She has done so much for others, usually without letting anyone ever know, I could not begin to list them. Her strong faith in God and modest upbringing has given her a sense of giving that only she can explain. When she successfully started her own photography business, she also started a non-profit division photographing family portraits for area families fighting cancer. Her friends say she is amazing and she simply shakes her head and wonders what all of the fuss is about.

Her mother, sisters, brothers and large extended family will tell you she is the one you can count on to lend an ear when needed and never judge. She was raised by her loving mother and father who was the warden of the Allegheny County Jail and actually spent most of her childhood in the residence connected to the jail. At a young age she witnessed more of life’s tragedies and obstacles through her neighbors, the prisoners, than most of us can imagine.

Although all of the aforementioned is remarkable it is not what makes her truly special. Sunny is a two time cancer survivor and now is currently fighting for a third time. After beating ovarian carcinoid cancer and undergoing serious surgery for carcinoid tumors in her right lung just three years ago, the carcinoid tumors returned in her lymph nodes, liver and bones. The size and proliferation throughout the liver of these tumors mandates immediate chemotherapy in four treatments over the next few months as well as monthly octreotide treatments. These painful treatments will hopefully stop the growth but are not a cure. There are numerous tumors in her spine, her skull, her hip, her leg, and her shoulder...all in the bones and she will wait on potential radiation to fight those.

What my wife has is Carcinoid Cancer Syndrome, an endocrine disease which is rare and spreads from organ to organ. As of right now the only known treatment for remission is administered by renowned clinics in Europe. However the treatment is not covered by our insurance. Our doctors have encouraged us to start raising money and matching grants could follow. Her lead oncologist strongly believes that Sunny would be a prime candidate to be a voice to get the message out regarding carcinoid cancer syndrome, bring this treatment to the United States and encourage approval from the FDA. Without this treatment, the tumors most likely will continue to metastasize in other organs and her fight will be ongoing. Sunny has set up The Sunny Carney Carcinoid Cancer Fund to support her treatments. She believes that once she beats this cancer she can make a difference to others also suffering from Carcinoid Cancer.

Mark A. Carney

Sunny Carney Carcinoid Cancer Fund
C/o S & T Bank
2190 Hulton Road
Verona, PA 15147



Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Fighting Christmas Fog

Ok Sunshine we got a lot of advice in the last two days on how to not feel sorry because you are up there and celebrating Xmas etc....It is not a bad thing to get these reminders...in fact they help keep focused on the things down here...but its hard...as the night gets late and laundry almost done...there is a thick fog starting to roll in up here on Mt. Plum....the light from Sheetz is a surreal haze of reds and whites..the streetlights cascaded over like a airy waterfall as feeble rays struggle to shine through...anyways...I wanted to share this on facebook...in fact was mostly done..but somehow managed to crash the Ipad...so after a few minutes to recollect I am going to do this here...I was calling it Still Struggling earlier and I am only writing this because I keep hearing from people who feel the sting of the holidays because of the loss of loved ones...and its Ok to feel that way I think...its not bitterness or anger...its a sense of being cheated...cheated of moments...cheated of time...I am thinking as Xmas nears how it could be that twenty children and six adults could be slaughtered... I am thinking how you could be gone just fifty-two days before your favorite time of year...I remember then the passage in Matthew 2 during the Jesus birth story about how Herod ordered all the children under two years old slaughtered in Bethelem and the region....I think now how the Christmas story was one that had shown from the beginning that Birth and Death, Good and Evil,  were not often far apart...and staying in Matthew,  I think the most important part of the story happens 25 chapters later when Jesus goes into hell,  takes our sins,  kicks death ass(pardon my language but you were the original queen of smackdowns)and rises after three days,  proving that death is no longer the dominion of the Devil, and ultimately fulfills prophecy....I know its a black and white story,  as life and death is...but in between there is a gray at times...a fog...so thats where I am going with this....Love you and I know you are happy and blessed up there...and I have no qualms about that...this is for those down here that still struggle on..not for lack of faith...just for lack of angels wings...

Fighting Christmas Fog

Ok Sunshine I get it that you are gone and I have been told you are better off and yes I completely understand that the heaven you are in is real...but please don't remind me so often with poems , sayings on paper,  songs of new Christmas shoes...don't tell me how to feel...

I feel like the fog outside...its a temporary state....gray shrouds surrounded by clarity waiting to lift high and to clear....but like the fog,  all of the good tidings, all of the profound words of wisdom won't bring back my one true dear...

Its a joyous time of the year I know it to be true...I realize that the miracle of the season the spirit of the date...the 25th of December...its going to be a little while I fear before I can wholeheartedly celebrate...

doesn't make me weak or to feel like I have lost touch with my God, the Spirit, and His Son...in fact I can only be thankful that at the end of this fog when it clears I am assured His will was done...

Jesus wept and Job was unique,  Abraham had a slavegirl and Moses a short fuse...I don't think there should be any surprise then that I have the Missing Sunny Blues...

Its going to sting as I trip through this fog...but when it clears and it will...I can really sit back and wander at the morning warblers deep pitched shrill...

So please don't be angry that we don't quite understand...or that we don't jump up and down high fiving your new place on up with the King....its only we are still human and our hearts heavy with loss can't always quite quickly grasp everything...

You would feel alike to us if places had switched and you were down here this night...you would be feeling the same pain,  comfort, and praying with all of your might...

the fog will certainly lift and when it does I can really move on....not forgetting...but not hurting so much and feeling alone....really embracing the fact that my Sunny has gone home , not in pain,  not in anquish but hugging the throne....

Amen....Good Riddance Fog...

Me

Monday, December 17, 2012

Addendum to our talk

Ok Sunshine I don't want you to go all "Sunny" on me now and start sending signs or whatever to set up "go see Mark he's hurting" play dates....yes I am hurting but a lot of us are....so you need a lot of play dates.....I was just trying to convey that though my buddies are around....they are guys...we do what we always did...except occasionally I sneak away to cry...the boys have their buddies...guys and thank God girls...but they miss having mom....can't be duplicated..,,just like you were not only my BFF you were the only woman really in my life....when u left I lost not just everything you were to me...I lost women...I lost my connection to your sides view and input on life....ESPN can't fill the void....

I guess Facebook has been good because I have connected and been able to at least have social contact with the other half perspective....without having been told to or feeling like I had to...there are so many layers to this I can't really finish the whole train of thought right now....just didn't want you to get all worked up that I was losing it....I am not....but I am having a hard time filling your void....the boys do not have a mom and I do not have my partner....my world ....our world...it's something we are doing our best to get used to but our best sometimes falls short....we will be fine I know but right now I feel somewhere south of fine....

Love u....don't worry even if you could....

Me

Can We Talk?

Sunshine I need to have your ear for a few minutes....I am doing everything I can to stay on top of things with the boys...with the holiday stuff...with work...with the house...with the bills...but I am feeling a little overwhelmed....alright mighty overwhelmed....where do I handoff....I need to be there for the boys....at home...at games....picking up from practice because often its the only brief time we get one on one with everything in their schedules....I need to work....I need to do bills....I need to keep on top of Xmas.....I need to make sure house is cool....this is such a two person life....and I am down to one....I miss u but I also realize how much you were the stitching in our seams of life....with the holidays it's emotional enough and it's hectic....and it's so busy for everyone that as I told you (in fact we argued briefly) that after the immediate aftermath people would get back to their own lives....as they should I said.....no one has said "no" can't help....and yes dear friends have done rides, and dinners,  and cookies,  and of course prayers....but as I told you we would have to learn to rely on Him and each other and dear friends out here....just the nature of the holidays I hope...

I almost dread driving Nolan to the bus because once he gets on I drive back to a big empty home/office....those hours are hard especially if I am leaving voicemails....I root for bill collectors to call the home phone at times just to have a person to speak with....this is really hard I want you to know that you are not easily yanked out of my world....it encompassed every facet of it....the Sunny Supernova....I pick the kids up we come home we recap , they have homework and I am back to being a universe of UNO....

Thank goodness for Facebook....never thought I would say that....but at least I connect with people...and not just talk to the memory of you, myself, or Oscar....I think about you constantly ...and that's not a bad thing...but it probably isn't the most uplifting thing at times....make sure that you keep ensuring we are getting watched over....love you...as always thanks for listening to my rambling and I so wish I could just reach over and rub your forehead and plant a big wet one on your little pursed lips....

Love u and really missing u

Me

Sunday, December 16, 2012

December 15 & Catching Up

Well Sunshine I know you are doing fine...I hope you get the hugs, kisses, thoughts, and wishes....daily....not just from me but from parts all around...we miss you...I miss you...today is one of those days that feels like a double edged sword because on one hand it is six weeks since I squeezed that warm hand for the last time...six weeks since my world changed to one without Sun...yet today is also Logan's 15th....wow...what a weird feeling it had to have been for him...and his brothers as well...birthdays were always your thing....I tried and I try....I got the presents, I got the cake and candles,  I got the cards,  I got the banner to hang(too cold they said for balloons outside last night...don't yell)...I kept things as "normal" as you would have liked....it was a good day at the end of it...but it wasn't normal..How can normal include a card from a mother who isn't there to take pictures, to hug,  to kiss, to share....it can't....I guess we are moving from normal to reality...because to me normal was pre-nov 3rd...normal was you telling us to quit licking the cake...to leave the candles alone...to smile and say Logan and then to do it again and maybe even a third time because one of us wasn't smiling or looking at the camera...Normal was population 5...reality is 4 residents...normal was a family of five....with the usual ups and downs..reality is a lot of testosterone  and no feminine touch to share, control, and love it....normal is tree up , nutcrackers standing guard, and xmas cards arriving daily hung over doorframe...reality is no Sunny stocking hung with care, and no cards to send out yet...(God I miss you)....(just a manners question babe...can you send out thank you cards from your donors and condolence givers for you beautiful wifes funeral the same week you send out "merry Xmas from the entire Carney Family....but not quite entire") I don't think you can...I am still debating on how to handle...and before you tell me who to ask or who to call I am telling you I am making the call on this one....I have a picture I want to use...but I may wait a week....so if anyone who is reading this is wondering...I am not slacking....just being considerate...(how did I do babe..covered pretty well...)

Back to the card...and I will forever call it just the card...the first one to be opened and read by one of the boys....as I keep struggling just to do this blog six weeks later..I have the utmost respect as a parent and a writer for how in the hell you got all of those done after being told you had "months"...I can share with you now that I will never approach writing a more important piece than those cards/letters you finished....anyways I gave it to Logan this morning...he sat there for a minute...I asked if he was OK reading and if he grasped what that card was that said simply LOGAN 15 in your handwriting....he said typical Logan manner that he did and was fine and could I go out of his room..I have no clue as to where I would even begin if I was in  your shoes attempting the same letters but as I briefly Facebooked I knew whatever you poured into that was a positive loving encouraging reminder to him....I know you told him how special he is and what a great young man he is growing up to be...I know you told him that though you are not there that you are always with him..to pray...to cry but to keep living...I know this because I haven't seen it, nor will I ask to...thats private between Logan and I guess his brothers...I know this because I know you....we had the wonderful blessing of spending more time together than most couples did....and sure it may have been time spent in waiting rooms,  or lobbies,  or just at lunch after....or for late breakfast...whatever...I was blessed to have gotten to know you like I know myself...Its trite,  Its cliche'...but its been so damn hard to not to have you here once the kids get off to school....(God I miss u) I guess I never realized how often we interacted during the day....throughout the day...sorry I am going to break now...too hard..

Ok back...today was a day that none of us will ever forget...the chance to go to fanfest and have the Pirates through Mike and Michelle reach out to the boys was just unbelievable...Josh Harrison,  Alex Pressley, and Jack Wilson will always have a special place in this heart....watching Logan run around with his friends and brothers and granddad made me realize that life does go on....if you make the choice as you always said...if you choose to jump back in and live...you can..if you choose to pull the curtains shut, turn the TV off and wallow in what was you will....I have fortunately have had more of the former and only a handful of hours with the latter because I hear you telling me to get my ass up....(Thanks)...today reenforced all of this...your boys had the chance not to replace your memory because that will never happen, but to make a new happy one, probably the first true one in six weeks,  and I think they did....will their hearts ache tonight....tomorrow...sure...but you cannot steal a memory...thanks for all who prayed and thanks for answering up there...He blessed us today....

I would be remiss if I didn't ask you does heaven shake when a devil in human flesh pulls what happened yesterday...I don't make shake in fear...I mean shake as if legions of angels volunteered to descend to care for and take comfort...did heaven rejoice when those little angels arrived....I assume so because nothing happens by accident...but damn,  after wrenching my emotions buying the candles, cake, cards, and such that you always did...I wasn't ready to hear that news....the bastard killed his mother first....then went to slaughter children...at the holidays...I can picture stockings hung with names on them, presents bought, wrapped, and gift tagged...I can picture xmas cards that arrived that very day to family and friends with smiling faces that are no more...I am not alone in these feelings....conflicted and confused yet again...seems like we were just here Sunshine....any answers????Why????

I keep thinking of Logan in the midst of all of this....your dad passed and was buried on the 25th of November and then Logan was born twenty days later...the circle of life in a damn personal way....no time to hurt when you have a baby with jaundice and a fifteen month old that was a handful....then when he went to the zoo field trip for the first time and you called me from the parking lot in a panic because that was the only time in a century a zookeeper was killed...the elephant was loose reportedly...no news..no admittance...I remember the call when in tears you said you were holding your Logies....and I recall how down I was with the whole frickin world late yesterday and how bad I needed to have a day like this....the circle of life...he who giveth and taketh...I have no understanding anymore than the next guy but I am thankful I believe in a God that I can ask....I am thankful that my faith is strong enough that I know I won't get the answers but I move forward....I am thankful that you chose to follow the calling and how we drew closer to each other and to Him...

Ironically I have had the opportunity to help friends who are struggling with cancer, either through loss,  through diagnosis, through Facebook...I never used Facebook,  and of course I was never hoping to be adept at learning how to manuever, question, research,  and fight alongside against  Cancer....I think I have helped a little bit in some cases, but I know it has helped me to feel alive again in sharing info and advice with others...pray I don't screw it up for someone..

I am looking forward to tomorrow...can't tell you now...in fact may just Facebook it first...never thought I would say that...if I start tweeting pray hard...tomorrow at church could be a real special day and I hope to have the report back to you tomorrow night...so don't go anywhere.. and please watch over your loved ones...family and friends...well you know what I mean...make sure that He is watching over us...you get your rest...I love you...I will carry the torch along with the boys the best we can...

Love you....a love that comes only through blessing...

Me

Proud of you Logan and mom and dad love you.....



Saturday, December 8, 2012

What This Life Is Really About

Sunshine it's been five weeks.  Still can't fathom in a big part of my heart that we are living without you.  Still can't quite get a grasp on the whole concept of Christmas without you.  Go to the mills and see all of the couples shopping together , holding hands, the poor sucker caring all of the bags(I would love to carry all your bags), the men on the jewelry stores picking out precious gifts, when the only real precious gift is the time we have with each other....how do so many lose sight of that this time of year especially....how do so many fight and fret over stupid meaningless bullshit when all that should be important is making time for loved ones....I guess when you have a culture that can't wait to save 50% extra on a television on frickin thanksgiving and actually cut that family dinner short to save  $100 then I guess WTF.....what else should I expect...sorry to rant but I find I am losing patience with those that don't grasp how when you say I do....it means you frickin do....it doesn't mean life is a bowl of cherries....it doesn't mean if it feels good this month but we argue a lot so we are taking a break from each other..,,it doesn't mean I found someone else who gets me better than you do....it is simply I Do....you fight with each other sure...but more importantly you fight for each other....there is nothing special or heroic about my part of the journey we took....I told you that all of the time....it still angers me when people want  to pat me on the back....for what...for keeping a vow made before God?????.....for honoring richer or poorer in sickness and in health....what does it say about the state of things when just doing what you said you would do becomes something more....

I am completely fed up with those that waltz through this time of year and blow off their kids....too much shopping, too many office get togethers, too many adults forgetting that this season exists because a CHILD was born....not a sale at Best Buy , Macy's , Wal-mart, etc....a CHILD was born not a reason to drink and stay away from home frolicking with someone else....come on....Sunshine you managed to make for a perfect Carney Christmas every year....you managed to find time for blankets, x-mas days at school , cards etc....yet you did it during the day, or late at night,,,,,never once can I say our kids were screwed out of your time.....I love this time of year though it hurts....but I am souring on what has become a 60 day shopping and party spree and not a time for faith, hope, and love...l

Love u baby....I guess this is a Mark Smackdown....but I am really trying not to lose patience with people who are stressing about truly trivial shit....

Love you and miss you so much

Me

Monday, December 3, 2012

Walk On

Sunshine we made it through a month.  I want to tell you that we all will be Ok.  We hurt but we have peace with God.  I just reread Romans 5 for the billionth time and can say that because of faith we can have the same hope that you did...live a life of Love....have the faith that He died for us and when it comes to that point be certain of where your ticket is destined for.  Our time here is not guaranteed to be anything more than the moment....I know now what that means first hand....so to waste the moment is probably the most foolish thing we can do...when the opportunity arose for you to make a footprint you put your foot down and left it...as much as it frustrated me at times because I may have had other plans for us or was impatient....I see now that you definitely were following a bigger set of instructions....your heart was in tune with His....and I so glad that you chose to accept that..

When you decided to fight you made every effort to do so....it was all or nothing...you decided to move forward....to walk on...like your song...you always were thinking and praying for a way to find that next treatment , med, or doctor....you were always finding time for the boys and me...maybe not as much as before the disease afflicted your body, but you made time...you made time for family and friends that needed your attention or help, you made time for the whole carcinoid community when the bell rang...you wasted not a moment....that is what I am really going to focus on moving forward...time will still occasionally stand still when I am triggered to a certain memory or moment that we shared....I may use a moment now and then just to recall how damn special you are...but I will not wallow or waste anymore opportunities....that is your legacy....you gave us an example on how to live no matter what the situation you are dealing with....

I can tell you that this time of year brings a lot of stress to people....it was sometimes even tense around here...making sure everything is perfect, the gifts are equal, the cards are sent....I say this year who cares?  It is not about the perfect tree(relax we are getting help in putting up the decorations), it's not about presents(especially since you already did most of the shopping), and I will send out cards....somehow....but I will not stress about it, too many fight , argue, and end up in serious family trouble because they fret about the wrong things...I commented tonight to someone who was having a bit of a spat with his wife, that I would give anything to have one last chance to be the bigger person and admit I was wrong even if I didn't think I was, to you one last time...life is to short to annoy and argue with those we love and care about....there I got it....

Walk on.  Leave it behind.  In the end it doesn't matter.  It all seems irrelevant now and has for the last few months.....I love you...I get it....tell Him to keep watching over us, know that we miss the heck out of you but that we will draw upon the same bottomless pool of faith that you always did.

I love you babe

Me

11/3/12-12/3/12. The First 30 Days

Sunshine it's hard to fathom that it's been a month.  It is hard because we are on the "healing " process, all of us, not just the boys and I, not just family, not just close friends, I think anyone who came in contact with you is in that stage.  But it is hard also because it still seems like you will be up with us in the morning, making sure the boys showers aren't too long,  making sure that there is coffee made for Logan, making sure they know "to make good choices today".  Come to think of it I don't believe I have told them that once in the last month....guess what I will share with them in morning....anyways we are hurting and yet we are healing....it feels like the holidays will be like treating a bad cut with rubbing alcohol....it's going to hurt like the Dickens.....but you slap the Band-aid on and trust when you pull it off you will have a scab or a scar....no infection...you are healed but there is always that visual reminder....I guess that's what will happen here....just hope the Band-aid doesn't rip off before the healing is done....of course the Band-aid is the prayers answered by Jesus...we aren't going to get through this season without prayers being answered....

30.  Days.  I wanted to tell you that I love you.  I wanted to squeeze again...hug again....(I know not to hard because of the tumors in the back)...I wanted to share a ride to Hillman, a U2 song on the way, a two hour wait, and then a lunch....one more lunch...I will eat fast because I know you can only sit for so long before it hurts,  soup, salad, and a joke about when we can finally share a drink again....no more liver issues....I know it sounds pathetic up there and probably to a lot of people down here too, but I don't shed as many tears; my heart just aches more...I don't need as many Kleenex just a magic heartache elixir....this won't be like a "booboo" where we wait a couple of days or week and presto....back to normal....I have been told that this takes awhile...all I know is it's been tough trying to return to normal when your GPS for normal says "can't find, try again"....we go through each day, go through motions at times...we do our best and hope that our best with his guiding hands are enough...at times it's hard to open the bible, it's hard to pray at times...I know my faith has been challenged and I know you are in heaven and we rejoice in that.... My brain and soul get it....now we just have to convince the heart...

I found the I guess you call it toiletry bag that you packed for that one night stay last month.  Unzipped it...your glasses, your contact case ans solution, your ziplock bag of ibuprofen, your ziplock bag with toothbrush and toothpaste....your brush, a scrunchy...it was like finding a time capsule yesterday....I didn't cry....but my heart hung heavy...like a wet tapestry....the pictures not fading, but not quite luscent as they once had been...I found a green sweatshirt....with handprints saying Mommys little turkeys....and each of the three boys hands drawn in and somehow saved on...I found these older little baby girl clothes, still on hangers,  newborn, 3-6 months stuff...pirates etc...all pink...all old....not even sure what it was or where it came from but the heart got yanked big time with that...

I want to let you know that it is good to feel His presence.  Because when the kids go to school this home office thing can be tough.  It's lonely.  No one to share I the success of a new retainer or a great candidate, or just to fill you in on what Whiting is up to.   No one to brainstorm with.  You listened and encouraged and pushed at just the right times...you shared this dream with me as much as I shared your fight with you....there are a lot of people around at times, there are a lot of calls at times...but I miss your company...I miss knowing I could bounce up those two flights of stairs and sit on the bed next to you(usually impatiently waiting for you to get off the phone with another carcinoid  patient) so I could tell you about the call I just had...or to update you on expected sales or the pipeline....no one to review the pipeline with now...anyways even with a lot of support there is no one I can talk to like we did...its not like I miss having a "woman's" perspective , I miss having my baby's input.  Thank God He is walking with us and we can talk to him and feel him here , even in our darkest moments of anger and doubt, He is still here in this house, and that is comforting beyond belief.  You and I talked about how we couldn't imagine fighting cancer without that faith, I can't imagine facing this loss without having that faith.

Ace made the varsity basketball team.  So proud because of how hard he worked after the surgery to get back...he has your tenacity and drive and I know you will be flipping GodTv Friday at eight to the plum Hs channel to watch his debut at the kickoff tournament.  Logan is almost 15...he had a pretty good weekend all in all.  I wish he had a sport going on right now, because he is in need of something to do after school...too much time here and you start to hear your voice, trust me on that one....he is,growing into a young man....in fact needs to shave more than Ace at this point....Nolan is playing second team for the eight grade hoops squad, but he is accepting the challenge of working harder, and will be the seven man by the end of the season...mark my words....

I learned how to use the parent portal finally, I got the candles inthe windows, and the lights sort of ready to go up....the boys and I made your blankets for the seniors home with Kelli and the gang last night....twenty people, and 22 blankets....no lefty scissors, but it was so rewarding, I can't believe I never helped when you were here....we also picked out the presents for the toys for tots at Sunnys tree and dropped them off..in case you didn't notice that tree has a lot of presents under it....so you see I know you are still here in plum and Pittsburgh, and in the hearts of all of us, because in a lot of ways the X-mas spirit is yours. This time of year will hurt real hard greatly because it was so special to you that you left footprints....

I love you....Faith is strong, Hope that we can get through each day, and Love....I try to make sure we live each day loving like He loved us....and how you tried to be each day....love you baby...

Me